looking for advice or an outlet

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2013
looking for advice or an outlet
7
Sun, 01-20-2013 - 8:57pm

Hi there,

I've been having a very tough few months at my job and I'm trying to figure out what to do to make things better.  To begin, I'm a teacher.  I've been teaching for 18 years, the past 11 have been in the same grade and school.  My school is not the place it was when I first began there.  Moral feels terrible and I feel as though my colleagues are always trying to out do eachother or act as though one's idea is better than another person's idea.  There has been a change in leadership since my first few years at my school and there has also been a turnover with staff.  I hate to say this but some of the younger teachers act as though they are entitled and that there ideas are best.  I've always thought of myself as someone who is open to trying new things in the classroom and as someone who is a team player.  This has been a tough year for me.  I do have a tough class this year-many children with behavioral issues.  This makes the job hard and exhausting, however, what makes it more difficult is that I really can't stand several of my colleagues.  I left work so angry on Friday and I'm having a hard time letting go of this anger.  It's just multiple things that have built up.  I really hate this attitude of people thinking they are better than everyone else.  I will admit, I'm sensitive and tend to take things personally when I shouldn't.  I just work with some people who are rude and unprofessional.  I'm not one to talk about it, instead I let it all build up and become very angry (not sharing that anger with anyone though).  My husband says that I shouldn't let it get to me.  He's right but I don't think he totally gets it.  Teaching is very isolating.  I'm in my classroom all day and if I did not go to the teachers room for lunch, I probably wouldn't have contact with any other adults during the day.  Don't get me wrong, I do have colleagues at work that are my friends.  They see the same stuff that I see, but they must be tougher than me because they are not wasting the energy that I am getting so worked up about things that some of these woman say/do.   So...choices...I have some options-I can take a deep breath, go to work each day and try my hardest not to let these people get to me, I can go to work and feel the way I do now (not the option I want to chose), I can put in for a transfer to another school (something I've thought about a lot lately).  I've gone as far as meeting with the assistant superintendent about transfering.  I do have a very good rapport with her and though I'd like to eventually transfer to another grade, I feel like right now my reasons for transferring are more due to the people that I work with than being ready to move up.  Has anyone else felt just sort of fed up with colleagues?  What did you do?  How did you get past it?  I'm just so tired of going to work and feeling so angry.  I think I need to change something...stop letting the nonsense get to me.  Is transferring the answer? Or is that just running away?  Just want to feel better at work and I'm looking for a way to get there.

Thanks for reading.  Hope I made some sense. 

Avatar for lizmvr
Community Leader
Registered: 06-06-2001
Mon, 01-21-2013 - 9:55am

My concern is that you are running away from the issues rather than finding a way to deal with them. You say that the other teachers try to one up each other or insinuate that their ways are better than those of other teachers.  How are they doing this? How is this actually affecting you and your teaching? Are you being asked to change your teaching plans based on what other teachers are saying or are you overhearing conversations that rub you the wrong way? Are you participating in conversations about how some of the teachers aren't as good as others? If you can give some actual scenarios, we can better help you to truly address the issues, but in general, think about the part you're playing in this. If you're part of any gossip, think of how you need to change your own input and responses. There's no guarantee that any other school will be better; so, what you learn here will be valuable wherever you might go in the future.

Secondly, you say that you aren't around many adults. Why not see this as a blessing if the adults are so noxious anyway? Focus on your kids. Focus on your teaching and less on the time you have to spend with the other problematic teachers during lunch. You must like children to be a teacher; so, refind your passion for being with them and let that be your bigger focus rather than the negative talk amongst the adults.

Please do be more specific, though, and give us details of what is actually happening. Then we can give you direct advice.

Good luck!

Liz


Clinical Research Associate


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2011
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 3:08pm

I was wondering have you thought about turning to the Bible to help you cope. You might feel better, it will guide you in the right direction.Galatians 5:22,23 talks about the 9 fruitages of the spirit, take time and pray and read.

Avatar for lizmvr
Community Leader
Registered: 06-06-2001
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 8:21pm

Thanks for chiming in, April! Definitely taking some time to think about or pray about the situation would help our teacher refocus, I think.

Liz


Clinical Research Associate


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2013
Wed, 01-30-2013 - 9:06pm
I can imagine your frustration.. I'm in somewhat of a similar situation. I agree with Liz, changing jobs is not necessarily the answer. The next school could possibly be worse and you may have a different set of problems. There are so many times I want to run away from my job but I know it won't help as new issues will come about. Focus on the good, helping your kids and inspiring them to be good people. Try not to take things so personally ( haha I should do the same!) when emotions come into play, its hard not to let that affect your job performance. People will always be the same, women are catty by nature for whatever reason. try not to get involved.. I just to my office and work more to get away from the cattiness and backstabbing :)
Avatar for lizmvr
Community Leader
Registered: 06-06-2001
Sun, 02-03-2013 - 6:00pm

Thanks for sharing your perspective, Italian! Sometimes it definitely helps to hear from others going through something similar, even if just to know that we're all not alone in facing some of our obstacles.

Liz


Clinical Research Associate


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2013
Fri, 04-05-2013 - 5:37pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2010
Sat, 04-06-2013 - 9:44am
One thing that might make your feel better is the carp thats getting to you is most likely getting to your coworkers too. They might not show it. But that doesnt mean its not getting to them too. My job is killing me but my coworkers have no clue it is. I try not to show it. I am calm cool and collective. Seem happy to be at work (for the most part) but deep down I hate every minute of it. I am sure my coworkers cant tell. Talk to some of them to get a barometer reading on how they feel. I know many teachers and one of them told a similar story to yours. She said she changed schools and that solved all the issues. She said different leadership (principal) can make or break it for all concerned. She is so glad she changed schools. Laurie