ran away from a challenge - how to forgive myself?
Find a Conversation
|Sun, 06-16-2013 - 2:44pm|
Hi, recently my new big boss offered me the leadership of something I've been doing forever. I've been going through a bad phase at work where I lost confidence and I told him I need stability and support because I'm feeling stuck. I also told him what I was really interested in (not the subject I was handling all these years) and he heard me out but I think maybe I made an idiot of myself with him. I also expressed a preference to work in another section for the stability reason, not because I enjoy the work.
Well, if that wasn't bad enough, one of my old bosses with whom I've worked forever is coming back to head the section I asked for and I've been really bummed since I heard that - he's good but he uses me and it's no good for my self-esteem that I cannot say no to him.
How do I forgive myself this tactical error and live with myself? In reality, I am not confident of my abilities for the leadership position, but the fact that I owned up to it, and the fact that I am choosing something for stability's sake, and not ability - and will probably get stuck again with my old boss - all this is making me feel bad. I don't want to go back to the big boss and ask him to change things around because I really don't know what I want except stability.
If you can all send me some good vibes that my life will improve, please do. Also please tell me how to respect/forgive myself.