Is She My Friend?
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|Wed, 12-11-2013 - 6:02pm|
Hi. I'm new to this forum. Here is my story. I'll let you decide if I'm being used,
Back last Nov 2012 my neighbor asked me how much I would want to take care of her mother at night. Her mother is 92. I work in the field. I knew she was very low on money so I said $30 per night. It entailed leading her to the commode and walking away until shes done, then escort her back with her walker. I knew Joanne from mowing her mother's lawn. Well it was working fine. This past spring Joanna asked me if I'd want to walk with her. I said fine. We walked and became close so I thought. She would say things like "I will travel to see you after we sell my house and she would call me daily" as she did here. I plan on moving to another state as well. She continued to say possiblr borderline romantic statements over time. Once she pointed at a house and said "Look theres our house" as we drove along. She would say "the neighbors wish they had what we have" "I see you as a soul mate" even though we never went out yet. Anyways I asked her out and she said "no". I was angry because I felt she led me on a bit but I let it go. She had cried several times about getting her mother in a nice nursing home "assisted living" So she is selling her house to afford it. So I am still staying with her mother two nights a week so she can earn some money to stay at her home as a tour guide. Keep in mind I am hurt while doing this. Getting back to the walks, after a while she stopped asking me to go for walks before I asked her out. .So our only significant time together was occasional invitations to her house for a glass of wine while her mother was present. This was before I asked her out. She now walks a dog for her neighbor not asking me to walk with her despite walking by my house daily? Its ok she says no to a date but now the friendship hurt is kicking in? Hell I'm doing alot for her to take care of her mother. I don't feel like a friend at times?
Now my issue today.... Over last summer she said she would love to take me for a tour of New York as she is a tour guide there after her mothers situation is over with. So a few days ago my new friend asked me if he could take me around New York to show me the sights. So today I mention that to Joanna on the phone and first thing she says "Oh so you don't need me to take you around New York now?" So I said "I thoght you were excited to show me New York?" She said taken back "I am" Keep in mind this is after she has stopped doing walks with me before I asked her out? So now I'm thinking she doesn't want to show me around New York? I am very hurt because I feel used now. A short time ago I started to accept furniture for my work and now its nothng at all. Do you people think she was just saying that, but she does want to take me on a tour? I want to feel I'm her friend because I love her but I feel shes using me to help her mother? She never invites me over for dinner or lunch with her mother but food being scarce might be a reason? She has always refused money as I have offered. She refuses anything without giving something back. Does her abrupt answer of "So you don't need me to take you around NY.?' might be just a statement? She didn't say it excitedly but she did say it? Any help? I feel like just telling her not to call me any more at all. First its the walks that stop and now its not wanting to give me a tour? Am I a friend or a schmuck? I love her but maybe she doesn't even like me? Thanks to anyone kind enough to help. I am very hurt tonite. Please answer. Rick