Is there a way to tell her to stop without being unpolite?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2013
Is there a way to tell her to stop without being unpolite?
3
Mon, 07-07-2014 - 4:04pm

There is lady at work who I lets say am fond of her, she has nice qualities. She is single, no dating, no bf, She used to be engaged like 6 yrs ago but  her former bf broke with her when many things were ready to get married (house, furniture, etc etc) so becaue of that she had to go into psychology therapy to deal with the breaking up for many months. It seems he cheated on her.

After that break up, she now set his qualities  high up to meet a new man, meaning she is very very picky.  Just a little bit of background on her. She gets stressed too much every day with work and other stuff, cause she herself tell me, she is always stress of work. She is 37 yrs old.

She has a flaw that really is annoying, she is a show off, bragger, snooty lady.  When we are at lunch at work and many at the office eating lunch, she always has to brag, and she is having a conversation with me or other coworkers, she always needs to bring up how much a certain item cost, or that she bought something that cost her a lot,  when noone had asked her cause is not relevant to the covnersation, that she bring it by herself. She likes to tell people that she buys this or that in a certain exclusive shop and it cost her this amount of money. She enjoys also sharing the private life of her relatives *aunts, cousins, parents, sister, herself, she is also a bad mouther sometimes when she talks at lunch with the rest of her coworkers and she comes by a religious family.

The thing is that she is a nice lady but when she starts to being a show off or brag its a bit untolerable. How can we say something to her in order her to stop I mean in a nice polite way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2011

This woman sounds completely insecure and self-absorbed and is also looking for acceptance. I've had my share of people like that and it bothered me a lot. I would just say to her next time she brags about herself, just say, "so and so, your bragging doesn't really impress anyone - in fact, if you keep being the way you are, no one is really going to like you including myself".

Sounds to me like she has very low self-esteem about herself and she may be jealous of you too - hope this would help. It helped me in the past.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2013

I dont think she is jealous of me in fact she dresses much better than myself hehe. Her clothes are veyr pretty and she always matches her clothes nicely it seems her clothes are nicely tailored and of nice brands. But her flaw is like that. I mean really when we are having a conversation with her or she with someoen else at lunch she has to rbing up how much  an item cost to her, a lot of little, and noone I mean noone had asked her abotu how much that thing cost her besides who cares abotu how much an item cost to her. But like you said she must  be very insecure or she lacks of something at home or herself that she feels good by being a bragger and a snooty lady in order to receive approval from the rest of the people.

Also another thing she has is like she is linked or know everyone in the entire country or her family or relatives know someone of someone of someone. For instance, we are watching news on TV and then the news are reporting thta lets say a certain lawyer is representing a man for a crime he committed and the crime had been headlines news from quite a while. So we are all watching the news and the name of the lawyer is disclosed on TV, immediately this lady say something like this: "Ohh I know the lawyer he is a very good one". Then the next day for instance if we are again watching  the news at lunch and the news are reporting about some politicial news and they are mentioning it a name of a politician, this lady again starts and say: He is the cousin of a very good friend of mine. The following day is the same thing, if the news are reporting about something and mention a name of the person, this lady again right away says: I have a friend who went thru the same thing as the lady on those news.

It is like this lady is linked or knows or her family knows everyone that are mentioned everyday on the  news. 

It is so annyoing. I guess she wants to feel and seen as a veyr important person I dont know. why she is like that but it is annoying. Of course the coworkers only play along and ignore her  btu it is annoying.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2011
it sounds like she is trying to figure out a way to relate to all of you - or any of you. usually braggerts like this are looking for some kind of approval and acknowledgment of worthiness. She probably is completely unaware of how she comes off. You have two options - 1. you can take her aside and tell her that you really like her, but when she gets to bragging or badmouthing it's a turn off (private convo), or 2. continue on as you are and put up with it. Oversharers often feel uncomfortably socially and so are constantly grasping at things to feel connected. (this all coming from a recovered oversharer who had my eyes open by a very sweet coworker who took time to say something.) It can go badly (depending on how she is). Best of luck.
Photobucket