Fed up

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2005
Fed up
Fri, 08-17-2012 - 5:53pm


       Thanks  in advance for reading about my frustration and seeminlgy unsolveable dilemma. I have had it with the job search. I have spent the past year and a half dealing with stress resulting from filing bankruptcy, not being able to pay my bills, not having a car, and having a part time job that pays less than $8.50. I am employed, however part time, and it has been impossible for me to make ends meet on this trivial and jokeable wage from the 80's. You see, I work in retail as a merchandiser. The job is all very well pleasant and sometimes fun, but I have got to get out. I am constantly applying online sending resumes to employers with no calls In the last year, I have had 4 interviews that have resulted in nothing. I am wondering if my credit status has anything to do with me not getting any job offers. I  have a college degree in Education, and I am again pursuing a teaching position after being out of the field since 1998, and so far no calls.  I own a condo that has been put into foreclosure. After a year of trying to get a loan  modification, I was finally offered a "trial modification" for 3 months to see if I can acutally make a mortgage payment. I also have a condo fee that I struggle with every month, let alone other expenses. My boyfriend lives with me and he gives me $500 a month in rent that I put toward the expenses. I am living on the edge  knowing I will  not have the money to pay my bills, He has helped me with my bankruptcy and other things, but he's not supporting me and I don't want to be supported.  

              I am just  SO frustrated with my life. I don't really enjoy anything anymore, and I feel like I am going to be stuck in this dead end situation for the rest of my life. I rarely get sick, but this past Sunday I came down with an upper respiratory infection that caused me to miss 4 days of work. Just what I need. The job that I do can be physically demanding, and I think I have just overworked myself to the point of getting sick.   I don't really have any connections when it comes to job networking. I cannot go through another year of this hell and frustration trying to make ends meet. I should be able to support myself, and make enough money to pay my mortgage and fee which  together totals  about $839 a month. I feel pathetic. It seems that there is no light at the end of this tunnel. I try to stay positive, but it's very difficult when I send out resumes with not one call back.I know that many others are dealing with the same things, but I feel like I am the only one...or it's just that other people hide things really well. 

Community Leader
Registered: 03-18-1999
In reply to: calico43
Fri, 08-17-2012 - 8:06pm

Hello calico43.  So sorry that you are feeling so down and frustrated.  I was the same way and even now my situation is not the best, but I am just trying to take it one day at a time.

I had a 25 year career in healthcare and never thought I would be out of work.  But I was unemployed for over 2 years.  I would send tons of resumes out and never got a call or a bite.  There were weeks I sent out 20-30 resumes and got nothing.  My house too is in foreclosure and I have tried for over 18 months to get a modification with no luck yet.  You need to hold on to any positive thing you have.  You got the modification so hopefully you can get through the trial 3 months and that will be another struggle you have worked through.

Currently I have a job driving a school bus and making just a little over minimum wage.  It is not enough to pay my bills but I would not want the stress and headache of going back to work in a lab.  I was offered a position 4 months after I got the driving job but the hours, weekends, holidays, and driving through traffic an hour one way was not worth the 3 times higher pay.  Plus, I was being hired through a temp service and the company had no idea when if ever I would become their employee with any benefits.  Again, not worth it since the benefits are important.  My husband does not have any benefits at his job since he is the only full time employee and they only have 3 other part timers.  They don't have to offer health insurance to their employees.

Feel free to vent anytime you need as there are many of us with very little networking clicks and who will be very supportive of you.  I wish you all the best and try to keep your head up.

Community Leader - Women At Work Board