New here. Just lost my job and I literally feel lost

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
New here. Just lost my job and I literally feel lost
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 3:57pm

Hello everyone, about a month ago I lost my job. "Lost" being the best word because I cannot really say if I was really fired, or I quit. For about 3 months, when a new Vice President was brought into my company, he systematically worked to move people around to where they would eventually be let go and cheaper people brought in. I was one of those people. I had worked there for 2 years. He was very nice to me at first then started slowly berating my work.

One day when I was making an official complaint about the fact that the dead animals they had found in the basement and were creating a horrible smell had not been cleaned up yet, I was met with an email that I had been disrepectful and was told to go home and come back at 8am the next morning and explain how my attitude would be better. I knew what was happening. After a very long talk with my husband we agreed I would put in my notice. I had been miserable for over 3 months there with no sign it was going to get any better. I turned in my notice and everything seemed ok until the next afternoon, when I was trying to train someone who would then be doing my duties, I was brought into that same VP's office and told to leave and they were not going to pay me through the notice I had given. I had to quickly pack up my things and be out of the building.

Since then I have only spoken to 2 people from my company, everyone else has not reached out to me, either professionally, or as a friend. I learned a big lesson to not make your job your life and to not expect anyone to be there after the dust clears and you are gone. 

I have lived where I am now for 4 years. I have made a few friends but not many and we have absolutely no family here. I sort of made that job my life, my aquaintences, and what took up my time. Now since I am unexpectedly out of a job, I feel very lost. I really have no other way to meet people and while some days I am very happy that I got out of the bad situation, other days I feel very down and don't want to leave our apartment or socialize.

Has anyone else felt anything like this? 

Avatar for cmlisab
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011

Wow...I literally used the exact same word yesterday ("lost") when I was describing how I felt after  I was laid off for most of last year. So I can definitely empathize :smileysad:  

Do you have a resume up on LinkedIn? That's where I ended up finding the majority of my "leads". Another good resource is - be sure to sign up for the daily email of job openings- she manages to find several ones every day!

Hang in there and try not to get discouraged ( I know, MUCH easier said than done!). I started really feeling down when I hit the 6 month mark of unemployment but it wasn't long after that when things finally started turning around for me. Another thing I also did was take an ASL (sign language) class- it was one of those things that I'd always wanted to do but never got around to - being laid off finally gave me lots of extra time on my hands. So look around at the local community colleges and see if you can find something you're interested in- it definitely helps with the "lost" feeling.

Best of luck to you- come and vent anytime!!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2012


I know how you feel. I actually quit a job I had for many years due to the supervisor I had. I was told the

very first day of my "promotion" that I would not be able to get along with her because she "throws everyone

under the bus." Turned out to be true.  That happened many yrs ago now and I am not writing you to relive my experience.

I just want to tell you that you have 'greived' too long over people and a job that's not worth your time.  You need to do

what I did (successfully); look at the glass as "half full" instead of "half empty."  Even though the extra income (which in my case was substantial) was now gone, I prayed to God first and said, "Lord you told me you would care for me and I believe you."  That alone took a big weight off for me!  Next I felt an excitement (guilty one of course) because NOw i COULD REALLY FIND WHAT IT IS I LOVE AND DO IT!  On my old job, I dreamed everyday about doing ANYTHING different and if I had it to do over, I would do something else.  Well, now, that opportunity had arrived.

What I found was a big, big world out there with TONS of opportunity!  Don't get another "job" you need to either CREATE yourself an opportunitty or start a new career.

Think about it, you said you have been out of work for 4 years! hum,  what ELSE could you have been doing for that L-O-N-G amount of time?  You could have gone back to school and you would be graduating in less time. You could have started a new business and have AT LEAST 3 years of solid experience behind you by now, and so much more!  Why give them the satisfaction of KNOWING you are miserable?  Living well is the best revenge.  Take care of you honey and MOVE ON!!!!

i don't know if i'm supposed to leave my email or not on this board, but for you, I will. I will help coach you and get you on your feet.  I will tell you what I've done to be successful again, I don't mind sharing because it will work for you too!