Does my boss have a crush on me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008
Does my boss have a crush on me?
Mon, 01-07-2013 - 4:43pm

Or am I being silly? 

I wasn't sure if this was the right place to post this so I hope it's ok. Lately my male boss (he's like the asst manager, so not ultimate boss, but I am under him) has been acting different towards me and my instincts are telling me he's interested. Trying to be rational, I realize that I could be imagining things to make myself feel better perhaps, like a little self esteem boost? Or maybe he's just been looking for someone to be friendly with around the office instead of just business all the time and we are close in age and closer in personality to each other than most other people here. 

He IS married. I DO have a serious boyfriend. I'm not looking to get freaky or anything, but just figure out what is going on and how I should feel about it. It used to be a just business, average coworker to coworker relationship and interaction between us, but in the past 6 months we've had to spend more time together and have gotten to know each other a little bit here and there. I'm not a big chit chatter or small talker so we definitely haven't too many lengthy conversations though. But recently, especially in the past month, I keep noticing that he seeks me out to either work with me and help me with something I'd be fine not having help with (menial tasks, nothing he'd be worried I might screw up). That's when I really started to wonder what was up.  It could be my imagination but it seems like he looks for excuses to keep talking to me. Like we'll have actual legitimate work to discuss but then it really, really seems like he's looking for extra things to bring up to prolong the conversation. In general, the last couple months he's just been extra nice to me too. 

He also told me I looked nice the other day and the last two times I've gotten my hair cut, he's complimented that too. And also one of my shirts. Now that all sounds totally innocent, but that along with the other things I mentioned - it just has me wondering about all this. 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2013
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 2:14pm

From what you said, it does sound like he might be interested. If it turned out he was interested, what would you want to do about it? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 01-11-2013 - 11:40am

He's married.  You have a serious SO.  And decent jobs are hard to come by these days.  IMHO, regardless whether he is interested or not, just act "normal"  (I know, easier said than done) and carry on as usual.  Hopefully he will lose interest soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008
Fri, 01-11-2013 - 2:03pm

If it became clear that he was interested, I'm not sure what I would do. He's not my type really so I'm not exactly interested back or thinking of leaving my boyfriend for him or anything. But I'm just not sure how I would handle it. I think acting normal is the best thing to do too, but I know me, and I know that my instinct is to push things sometimes to see how far they would go. I'm definitely NOT going to do anything to encourage him. But I can't say I will do anything to discourage him either. 

It's just a weird situation that I wasn't expecting. My concern is that things between us will just stay in this awkward state for a while because I don't want to say anything to him about thinking he likes me, and then I end up being wrong and embarrassed about it. 

My instinct is that it's just a little workplace crush but he has no actual intentions. If that's all it is and I'm a passing fancy then I don't really mind. It does make me feel better about myself. That's exactly why I'm worried I may just be imagining things too. 

We'll see I guess. For now, I will pretend everything is normal.


Avatar for CMEvelyn
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2012
Sat, 01-12-2013 - 1:04am

Please let us know how it goes!