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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
???
4
Sun, 08-29-2004 - 8:55pm
I am sad. i wanted everything to work out I really did. I wanted us to be together. And I dont think that is possible. I forgo the divorce because he talked me out of it and i moved back in March. Now this past month has been bad. It has been more mental then anything else. He really doesnt have sex with any more unless I practically beg him, he has taken to sleeping with his arm out so I get smacked in the face with his arm. He bit my back the other night while I slept. He says he doesnt remember this. I wonder. Last week we got an expensive elertic bill and he blamed me. He not only unplugged my little tiny desk fan but he threw it away. This was mine. How can he so easily throw my stuff away? I don't care what it is, its mine leave it alone. He told me if I plug it back in he will throw it away, he will throw anything away costing him money. Last night I told him if he threw my stuff away I would throw his stuff away. He then told me he would call the cops on me and I told him they would laugh at him as the same principal applies, we are married I can throw anything away if he can. he then called me a cop caller and told me, to go ahead and call the cops he will make it count this time, that he would make it worth while him going to jail before the cops even got here it will be worth his while. He of course past out on the couch right after telling me he is evicting me, to find a new place to live. I can't win. I dont know. He makes me feel crazy. Like it isn't happening like I am making it up or something. Today he acts fine and happy and I leave with the kids and when i come back he says he is sorry. I told him its to late for sorry. He then tells me he will never hurt me ever again he learned his lesson two years ago (he lunged at me last week) and he was just being a jerk. His words dont mean anything. He says he doesnt want a divorce. I dont know which way to turn. In some ways he has improved but in other ways he has gotten meaner and holds me to blame for everything. I just dont know anymore
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: visionseer
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 3:44pm

Man, I wish I'd read this post first -


Honey, he hasn't changed a whit.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: visionseer
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 7:37pm
What he means by, "if its costing me money..." is that he pays the power bill. I only pay 300 a month towards the mortgage and I buy everything for the kids and I buy the food. He pays the rest so its his money he is spending to pay the bill. That is what he means by it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: visionseer
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 8:15pm

That's not exactly the point I was making.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: visionseer
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 10:42pm
>>you contribute part of the mortgage, but pay the rest of the stuff

No. He pays pretty much all the household bills. I only pay half of the mortage bill, food and the kids and my health and my kids health insurance. He pays all other bills. Everything has always been his money and mine money. I make considerably less then him but I work 40 hours just like him. the rest I totally agree with. It wasn't his so it meant nothing to him. He was mad so I was object he had to target. It is me who runs up all the bills, not him. He says---Kid's clothes can be washed in one load and he can wear the same jeans day in and day out. Fine, wash your own clothes then. I no longer make him coffee, I no longer turn the tv to his station so that it will be on when he comes home. I only make him dinner as I am making it for the kids so there is left overs, so I will leave him a plate. He gets home at midnight from work. Gone are the little things I do for him. If he can be inconvience by my cheap fan, then I am inconvinced to do the little things for him. He never left a mark on me though, it was a bite but not a bite bite, kwim?