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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2004
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1
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 7:37pm
first i want to thank all the ppl who replied me,second i want to clarify some points that maybe were'nt clear in my story,first when i said "obey" i didn't mean it as a slavery act,but i meant not doing the things that annoy my b/f,just cuz it makes him sad,second he never control my going out and stuff,but he worries about me going out with guys i dunno and he dunno,as it was the first time i go out with my friend's b/f,plus i like girlie going outs and partying,i'm not interested in going out with other guys except my b/f,but sometimes i go out with my b/f,his friends and their g/f's,in this case he feel no one will annoy me,third i don't ask for his permission whenever i go out,i just asked this one time cuz i'm going with some guy he dunno and my friend didn't know him for a long time either,sometimes also when he finds me bored or sad when he is at work,he asks me to go out and have fun with my friends,fourth,although i'm living in a different society than u ppl do,a society where women is required to take their men's permission for going out and stuff,he is still openminded and he don't ask me to take his permission except if there's some new case like going out with my friend and her b/f whom we dunno,fifth i want to say that i talked to him,he told me that the reason he was mad at me was that,2 weeks ago he was standing with me and some guy i know in college,and well....i didn't pay attention to him,i think i even left him standing behind us and i didn't even notice he was there,totally forgot and talked with my colleague,the other thing annoyed him was when he talked to me about the other day i went out with my friend and her b/f,i said only few words about it,then i changed the topic which made him think i'm lieng (but i was actually excited about telling him about the new things i bought when i went shopping),anyway we didn't have a deal yet about us or our life cuz he works about 16 hours a day(and actually working so hard is one of the reasons that makes him nervous and stressed the whole time,cuz he wasn't like that when he was at chollege)but we had a deal to talk more about it on his day off,to have a discussion and a deal on the style of life that suits both of us,i hope it will work.

actually i have another problem with this guy which i'm going to discuss next time with him,his real problem is "exaggerating and over-reacting",this problem started by the time he started working,i'm telling myself that the reason is that he works so much,he works about 16 hours a day,sometimes 24 hours,and can u believe that once he worked for 36 HOURS WITHOUT A BREAK!!! well i want to say that this annoy me cuz he is so busy and tired most of the time,but he says that he have to do that to be able to marry me ,so i'm trying to be mature enough and comfort him when he's sad or tired,but what i can't deal with is he being stressed,tired and nervous(and when i say nervous and stressed,i don't mean that he become verbal or physical abusive,but i mean he can't stand any problems or bad news,and sometimes he sleep like a baby while i'm talking to him) by the time he come back,in the main time i feel pity for him working so hard...anyway i still need ur opinions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: estrella_triste
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 2:53am

First off, control is control is control.

CL-Blueliner4