11 Days and counting!

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Registered: 03-26-2003
11 Days and counting!
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 7:04pm
Oh, how I wish I could say that it is 11 days and counting until I leave or have been gone - but I'm excited about my forthcoming CAMP JEEP vacation!!! We leave on July 12th. Will visit Hershey Park for a couple days then continue to VA. Got all my stuff in the mail today!!!

AND it is July so on Saturday I go buy my season pass and my 4-wheel pass to drive on the beaches in RI!!! well, the ones that allow it!! I CAN'T WAIT!! I'm so excited.

Now, if I could just leave the loser - can you imagine???

I went to the heart-2-heart website - and something there really clicked for me. About the different stages a victim of abuse goes through. I realized that I'm moving through those stages, albeit slowly, but I am going through them. This is where I see myself at - let me know what you think - I have recognized it, the battered wives syndrome - denial, enlightment, guilt, and then responsibiltiy, I am at the guilt stage and trying to move into the responsibility stage. I have realized that I and only I must DO something. I can't silently sit back hoping that HE will realize what he is doing and stop or "let" me go or anything like that. I must take responsibility for ME!! And I plan to do that after vacation. I don't want my kids to be stressed while we are there - my hope for myself is that once we are back, I'll have nothing to say I must wait until (fill in the blank) before I can leave.

We bought a trailer to take on vacation as we won't be able to fit luggage etc in the jeep with 4 of us in it, and he actually made the comment that we bought it so I could pack. Gee, wonder what he meant by that?? Maybe he does want me to leave. I'm sure that he doesn't "think" that he wants me to leave, but why else would the comment come out?

Ok, this got long - I hope to put a website together to post pictures to while we are on vacation - I'll let you know the address so you can "meet" us and enjoy the trip with us!!

Thank you - all of you - for your patient prodding and support. Deep breath, breathe - thy will be done!

hugs to you all,

pam