23 yr old Confused about relationship
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| Thu, 05-19-2005 - 12:54am |
I am very confused as to where my relationship stands. I have been with my boyfriend for over five years. We met when we were 18. In that time I have completed my first bachelor's degree and am working on my second. He is very supportive of my education and career goals. The problem is that lately he calls me a bitch and tells me to "shut the f**k up" all the time. We seem to get into arguments over the smallest things and I feel like I always have to appologize because, according to him, every fight we have is always my fault. One night I was at his house and he was talking to his dad. I can't remeber the conversation, but I made a comment. He turned to me and asked "did I say you could speak?" Sometimes when we go shopping together he makes comments about how much money I am spending, always in the store infront of the cashier. I don't know if this is abuse. He has never hit me, but I know verbal abuse is still abuse. I know I have changed alot since I have been with him. At the beginning of our relationship he asked me to tell my ex-boyfriend, who I had been friends with for 6 years, and dated for only 2 months, that I could never talk to him again. He also made comments about all of my friends, whom now I havent seen in years. It seems like everytime I make a new friend he says something bad about them, like on one occassion he was convinced a new female friend of mine was a lesbian and trying to seduce me by inviting me over for sleepovers. That's what girls in their 20's do! Now, I have very few friends, but no close friends other then my sister. I know what I am saying likely sounds worse then it really is, but I didn't know where else to turn. I don't have anyone I can talk to this about. I am in love with a man who is great most of the time. We are from different cultural backgrounds, so this could be a cultural thing. I am considering breaking up with him, I don't live with him, but I am really scared to be alone. I know this probably sounds very typical. He really is the person who knows the most about me, and I must sound very dependent. I know I am dependent. I just want support and advice.
Thank-you for listening.

Welcome to the board chicki...
I have to wonder if you are dating my abusive exbf.
Sweetie? Your better off without him. There are guys out there that will treat you like you deserve to be treated. With love, dignity and respect. Dump him now, before you feel you really can't get rid of him and your with your abuser for 12 years, like I was. I wasted all those years with my abuser. And had five children with him. Don't do THAT to yourself.
Hugs,
Lori
Mom to Jennifer,18, Kristina, 15, Ryan,13, Marissa, 9, Caitlyn,9 and Isabel, 19 months