Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh!
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Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh!
| Tue, 07-05-2005 - 9:18am |
So Husband is still being SUPER nice, even helping fold the laundry, I think he is being too nice though, is that possible? Maybe I'm more aware now or maybe I'm just crazy, but I can see a lot of little things that he seems to be manipulating me on and it really ticks me off, as a result I still stay distant from him. He is clingy and it feels like he is suffocating me! He wants to lay in the bed and kiss for hours at a time.....I don't have time to do that! I'm not a teenager without responsibilities....I'm a 38 year old woman with a job, a 3 story house to take care of, 2 pre-teens and a 2 year old. He never wanted to do this before (HE was too busy), now he wants to do it literally ALL day, it's driving me crazy. He says that I should be glad that he wants me that bad. It seems to me the past week that anytime we are supposed to go somewhere he starts this too and we end up leaving hours later than we were supposed to. He is also picking out things about my older girls that he says that I shouldn't put up with, he doesn't say it in a mean way, he is very sweet about it. He also says things like he thinks I am looking for someone else and I am going to throw him to the side and get someone else and boo hoo someone else will be raising his daughter. He says that he loves me and he would do anything in the word to keep me and he just wants to see me happy. I have been trying to show him much more attention since he is actually home now, but it's still not ever enough. He says I don't love him anymore (which is basically true) and that it must be because I have found someone else. He has been saying that I was looking for someone else since we got married, I always attributed this to low self esteme, but now I know it's a control issue. He went into my computer and got the phone # to the MSN dial up and asked me who's number it was, he thought it might be some man's #. He said that he was going to get some computer guru to hack into my computer to see who I've been talking to. That really upset me, but he said that I didn't have any reason to be upset if I wasn't doing anything and it was just because he didn't want to lose me and he needed to find out if I had been "flirting" with someone on line because that would be IT for him. AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH! I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes. I have never been unfaithful, or even thought about it before. How can I look for somebody else when I am dealing with a crazy person at home. It would take a pretty special person even after all this is over, who would want someone with all my problems, issues and baggage anyway. Sorry this is so long, I just had to vent or cry and since I'm at work venting seemed best.

No girl, feel free to vent.
Hi: I think I have said this before but your husband sounds very much like mine. Like yours, mine wants me close to him all the time and wants lots of affection. Ugh. I don’t even want to touch him or look at him, let alone engage in that physical stuff.
Why don’t these guys get it. They are so wrapped up in themselves that they don’t see us (or anyone else for that matter) as persons with feelings and needs. My husband still thinks I love him. Oh yeah, why wouldn’t I still love a man who has called me every name in the book, terrorized me for years, never let me sleep, humiliated and degraded me, twisted everything I say around, can’t have a decent conversation with, bruised and scratched me, threaten to kill me, slap me, stab me, throw me off a bridge, stage many suicide scenarios, never know which of his personalities (Jekyll or Hyde) I will be dealing with from hour to hour, and on and on.
Like wishful said he is trying every which way to get to your guilt. I have said here before that they need to pick someone who is easily made to feel guilty, like me, or their manipulation and control tactics will not work.
I can see a lot more clearly now where my husband has been trying to manipulate – things I never noticed before. Maybe that’s what it is. They sense that we are wise to their tricks, head games, etc. and have to change their tactics around, be nice for as long as they can stand, to throw us off.
My husband is never satisfied with the amount of time I spend with him. I could spend the whole day by his side and spend 10 minutes talking to my kids and that’s all he will complain about. Its maddening
The only thing my husband has never done is accuse me of being unfaithful. I wonder why. He accuses me of everything else imaginable including not loving him. I guess its because he never lets me out of his sight long enough except when I am at work.
Just like you said, if I ever get away and try to find another relationship, who the heck would want me with all the problems, baggage and issues I have now after spending so many years with a crazy person. I can dream anyway.