Is this abuse?
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Is this abuse?
| Fri, 07-23-2004 - 11:34am |
My boyfriend of 2 years has never been anything but fun, smart, supportive, loving and caring. Except...In the last two months there have been two seperate instances when he drank too much and became very hostile, in one case he physically hurt me. He would fall asleep after drinking on the way home, and then when I woke him up to get him to come in our apartment it was like a totally different person was there, he was angry and belligerent and didn't respond to me in any of the ways he normally would. He called me names and told me he didn't want to be with me, and then last night when I tried to shake him to get him to "snap out of it" he punched me in the back very hard. In the morning after he has sobered up he has no recollection of the events of the night, I have to retell it to him piece by piece and then he feels completely mortified and horrible and he assured me he would go to counseling or whatever I wanted to make this stop...but I don't know if counseling will help, I just don't understand what is going on, can anyone help? It scares me...
Thank you.
Thank you.

Hi Bella and welcome -
Given the exact circumstances of the incident (drunk and asleep), I don't think I can say yes or no in good faith.
CL-Blueliner4
I agree with blueliner to read up as much as you can but I do want to caution you to take these events very seriously. Often when drunk your inhabitions go down and you are more prone to allow your true self to come out. If he is abusive towards you when drunk then there is a possibility this is an indication of future behavior. Even though he was drunk and sleeping it is no excuse for his behavior at all. 2 years is a long time but my POS and I were together for 2 years before I ever even had a clue I was being emotionally manipulated and 4 years before he laid a hand on me.
I can't say if your boyfriend is an abuser I can only caution you that what happened was wrong, was abusive and could be an indication of the future. Please read and learn as much as you can and move forward with some caution..
Hugs
Mel