Abuse

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
Abuse
2
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 10:10pm
I am currently in an abusive relationship that seems too difficult to get out of. The guy I am with does not abuse me physically...he abuses me verbally. I have never been treated by ANYONE the way that he treats me. I mean, I found out that he was cheating on me and when I tried to talk to him about it he said "SHUT UP! I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS!" Whenever I try to ask him a question, such as, do you love me He will saying "I'M NOT ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS. ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS ARE DUMB." He even had the nerve to say "there is no such thing as a dumb question, just dumb people who ask questions." Etc. Etc. If I say the wrong thing to him he will say "F--- you" and cuss me out. Whenever I try to just cuddle with him, he will pull his arm away and yell "get the f--- off of me." What makes me mad is when he says "This is the type of person I am and you need to deal with it." He takes advantage of me and I'm the stupid one for falling for it each and everytime, but he blackmails me and makes false promises to me.

I can talk to my male friends about anything and ask them any question on earth and they will answer it. NO male has ever disrespected me like this or cussed me out, or even manipulated me to get what he wanted.

He even has the nerve to say that he cares about me, etc. I don't trust him. I really don't. And what is a relationship without trust.

If he instant messages me he expects me to respond back immediately. If I don't, he will cuss me out. But when I expect him to respond back to me, he will say "you are so impatient. You make me so mad!!" Then, he believes that it is ok to call me at 2:30 in the morning. When I don't answer he leaves voice messages and he is upset. But the other night when I called him at 11pm he told me "DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME THAT LATE AGAIN!"

I know how to leave but I just need some encouragement. I really just want to get back at him.

Yesterday he promised to come pick me up. He even promised to pick me up and take me out tonight. But I have not heard from him since yesterday morning. He won't pick up his phone either.

He even called me a liar the other day...which I am not. He is the one who lies.

I mean, this is no where near as painful as a broken heart...but it makes me mad that he does this to me. Could it be because he just got out of prison last year (he has been there for 3 years) or is he just an evil and cruel person? When I first met him he wasn't like this. Also, when I get upset at him for treating me the way he does he will say "oh you are showing me your true colors now." Well what is he showing?!!! I've never experienced anything like this in my life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: baby_girl24
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 1:18am

Hi Baby Girl, and welcome -


If I might ask, right off the bat, what was your BF in jail for?


My guess is no, jail didn't do this to him.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: baby_girl24
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 2:59pm
Waz up baby_girl24? I read you post and wanted to warn you that I am goin through the same thing but mine has escalated to physical abuse and it used to be alot like yours. My man (if you wanna call him that) Cheated on me and had another baby with another female while i was pregnant with his "supposed to of been first born SON" but he went and messed with that trust, then i took him back and started a family and then he continued to verbally degrade me and then he decided that was not good enough so hitting me became his next level of abuse. Also you say that he calls you at 2am and expects you to be by the phone for his calls but when you call he ain't haveing it, well that is also how my bf is as well and it is called INSECURITY. These type of men love to munipulate and get all that they want and be treated like a king but you are the slave treated like dirt! it doesn't work like this, it is wrong! Also my bf was in jail for 2 years for assault and he used that as a pitty story all the time to get his way and explain his actions.....this 2 IS NOT OK!

I am warning you, I have been in this horrible, Munipulateing, degradeing, stressful, hurtfull relationship for 2 years and I am in the process of getting out, It takes effort and dedication to get the hell out of something that is not good for you, GET OUT YOU CAN DO IT I STRONGLY RECOMMEND IT!!!!!! keep me posted, keep your head up girl!