Abuse or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Abuse or not?
3
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 11:23am
Hi

Here is a question. While arguing, my husband started yelling at me and stormed at me and got right in my face. Almost to the point of making me back up. Would you call this intimidation and or abusive behavior? He is much bigger, stronger than me. I said that I was not going to argue anymore as I was scared of him. he apologized but said that if I hadn't accused him of something, he would not have had to act that way and wanted to get his point across.

What is everyone's thoughts on this? abuse or intimidation?

Thanks for any opinion and/or advice.

NK

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: nancyk123
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:58pm

Hi Nancy, and welcome -


It's hard to say yes or know definitively from your post, but what you have written does sound like it fits the characteristic behavior of an abuser (physical intimidation, not taking responsibility for their actions).

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
In reply to: nancyk123
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 11:03pm

In my opinion, from your post, I gather that your husband may have abusive tendencies. See if there is a pattern (cycle of abuse). Keep track of the pattern (if any). As always blueliner gave great advice.


Has he done anything before this incident that makes you think he could be/is abusive?


(((HUGS)))


~Me

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
In reply to: nancyk123
Tue, 10-05-2004 - 2:40pm
Intimidation IS abuse. Abuse is about two things: power and control. Same with intimidation: it is about power and control. Your husband put you in a position where your safety felt threatened. He then did something very typical of abusive personalities: he blamed it all on you. As an advocate, I see this as an early warning sign that further abuse is definitely very likely. For your safety, I would contact your local domestic violence shelter, if simply to have someone to talk to about this in person. It is always best to stay educated on your options and to have a safety plan tailored to your unique situation. Take care and good luck.~Amy