abusive

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2004
abusive
9
Sun, 02-06-2011 - 10:05pm

my so-called bf -- drove his truck into my wood pile, took a splitting maul to the side of my house, ripped the license plates off my car, rip the door off of my mailbox, ripped a bell of the side of my house splitting all the shingles underneath int the proccess,, calls my kids names to their faces (they are 14 and 18) -- I would get a restraining order but I am thinking they are pretty much useless piece of paper -- he has guns -- so what do I do?

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
In reply to: lls0514
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 7:02am
Well, you can get the RO - it prohibits him from having guns while the RO is in effect. Have you reported his destruction of property to the police? Have you split up with him yet, or is that what this rampage was about? There is an outstanding book, by Gavin DeBecker,, called The Gift of Fear. Usually you can get it from the library. I'm getting ready for work, but I'll be back to post more later. Stay safe.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2004
In reply to: lls0514
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 9:53am
Thanks for the reply; no I haven't reported to the police for the same reason I have doubts about getting a RO -- he'll just respond by doing something else. I am going to go see if I can find that book you mentioned. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
In reply to: lls0514
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 5:30pm

A restraining order would benefit you.

sweets35
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
In reply to: lls0514
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 8:56pm

Personally I would call the police...That way it's documented the damage he did to your property...As for calling your kid's names to their faces it would definitely be a deal-breaker for me...Find out what you you should do, either a restraining order or a protective order.

Him having guns is a scary issue...I would tell the police he has them.

This will not get better.

Protect yourself and your kids...

Why did he do this?

Obviously he has no respect for either you or your kids...;(...

I broke up with my b/f because he had "Anger" issues.



Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2000
In reply to: lls0514
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 12:18pm

Dear abusive,

In my opinion a ro is only a piece of paper.

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
In reply to: lls0514
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 12:41pm

I would think having a police report on file is important. After filing report, get to a safe place. Some guys do back down when they know police is involved..but you got to have some report..if he continues to harrass you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011
In reply to: lls0514
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 8:32pm

I finally got one after things got way too out of hand with my soon to be ex dh...I was scared to do even that, but I was pressured by CPS. I should have gotten it right away

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
In reply to: lls0514
Thu, 02-10-2011 - 10:35am

I agree with the others - call the police and get a restraining order.

Photobucket

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
In reply to: lls0514
Thu, 02-10-2011 - 6:10pm
Yes! Yes! Yes! to the MOSAIC method. That's the one that's used in the DeBecker book, The Gift of Fear. It is dead on accurate.

Mama Harmony