Advice and Realizations

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Advice and Realizations
2
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 12:31pm
First of all, advice. Please, please do not stay in your abusive situations for years like I have. When you've tried for what it seems like FOREVER, please realize it isn't going to work. No matter what you change about yourself, your kids or where you live, your abuser is still going to be the same. He may change his tactics, but he is the same.

Secondly, I have realized that I was very extremely physically, mentally and emotionally 'under the weather'. I apparently must've known that I was going to have to go through a lot of crap with him and I wasn't prepared to handle it through a divorce. I think I just stayed so long that I let myself get 'pulled under the current'. Somehow a couple of years ago I started swimming up. Right now he is trying to turn my kids against me. My 17 year old moved out and is totally siding with his father and his family. My 23 year old all of a sudden forgot how bad his dad was at home. His dad IS a con artist and very good at it.

Even though my heart is breaking because of my kids, there is a peace within me I haven't felt in years. Before I always worried about tomorrow, what was going to happen and what kind of stunt he was going to pull. Now I know tomorrow has got to be brighter. I have traveled more, had more friends, done more things in the last 2 months than I have in the last 5 years. I know future will finally be worth looking forward to.

Hugs,

Jackie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 12:58pm
Hey Jackie,

Remember how you helped me when my kids were doing the same thing....don't forget all that good advice you gave me. I know how much it hurts, but hang in there. After 6 months they still have a long way to go, but things are starting to lighten up a little and they will for you.

Haven't heard from you for a while...was worried about you. Emailed you this AM. Sounds like your still hanging in there lady...it will get better, I promise.

Terry

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 1:45am
Oh, honey.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you