Advice needed for friend
Find a Conversation
Advice needed for friend
| Fri, 04-29-2005 - 10:58pm |
I am just getting out of an emotionally abusive marriage, and will be filing for divorce within the next two months. I have a friend who has helped me immensely over the past couple of months, and I'm worried about her. After realizing my situation, I am concerned about hers. She is married, has a 2 and a 5yr old, does not work (although she has a BS in Forensics)and her husband is very controlling and abusive. He has cheated on her at least 14 times that she knows of, given her 3 STD's, one which caused her to miscarry (because he locked her in the house and wouldn't let her see a doctor even though she had a 104 degree fever). Since I have been talking with her about my situation, her husband has forbidden her to talk to me, since I make her 'rebellious', has slammed her head up against a concrete wall when she accused him of cheating on her again, hangs up on me when her husband comes in, and urinates on their carpet when he's drunk (if he's not hitting her). I have told her that if she stays with him, I fear she will be dead in a year, I told her for the safety and well-being of her children she needs to leave him. She has no hope left, and tells me she doesn't have much of a future, so she is choosing to stay with him. I want to send her information on shelters in her area, books on breaking out of abuse, etc, but he reads her emails and mail. She is in Denver, and I'm in Texas, so I can't go up and help her out like I want to. I am scared for her, and wanted to get suggestions on how I can help her. (I have offered to let her stay at my place, but so far she has refused) Thanks for your help!

Free, thank goodness your friend has you.
Mama Harmony
Thanks for the tips!!!
Free :)
I will try to point her to this board, and try to send her some information on local resources so she knows where to go. I have some money set aside so that if she needs to get out quickly, I can help her out.
Thanks again!
Hi there -
Harm and Wish gave some great advice, so I won't repeat it.
CL-Blueliner4
I am from Colorado and I can tell you that Blue is right...Colorado DOES NOT mess around at all when it comes to these situations. I know because when I called the police on my abusive STBX after a physical altercation, I was arrested because he had a scratch on his chin (I fought back after he choked and threatened to kill me). I am now facing jail time for something I didn't do but because I was abused by him and he knew how to manipulate me and the judicial system, I pled guilty. That was the biggest mistake of my life, but I have not lost hope.
My dd was present during all of this. That was 4 years ago, and I am now in the middle of a very nasty divorce with alot of false allegations against me (drug and alcohol abuse). He is trying to get custody of our dd, but when it came right down to it, the GAL report said that he is a HORRIBLE father and she should not be in his care for more than 3 hours at a time, 2x a week. I was told that if I hadn't gotten out when I did, they would have taken my dd away from me and I would have been charged with dependancy and neglect. Now it's been proven that he is neglectful and there is no going back from here.
If you feel the need, have your friend (or yourself) email me and I will help anyway I can, including opening my home to her and her kids! It would be safe and quiet, and he would never know where they were. I am only about 62 miles away from Denver...let her know this is another option for her!
You are a wonderful friend and your friend is lucky to have you! Huge hugs to the both of you!
Melanie