Advice needed please
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| Sun, 02-13-2005 - 1:43am |
hi everyone,
So lately i have been thinking about my moving out situation, the plan was i was saving up money and gonna find a apartment or something. But latley i really dont feel comfortable with it all, being on my own and stuff. So i was thinkin of asking my dad if i could move in with him until i get my feet back on the ground. I mean he has a huge house, 2 bath, 4 bedroom plus a basement, I would probably just move into the basement. The only problem i have with it, is he recently just got married this past summer (my mom passed about about 8 years ago) and im not sure how she would like it.
I know dad would be okay with it, but i dont want to feel that im invading there space, i know it seems abit silly, i mean he is my dad and all, but still, i dont want to be a pain in the butt. I feel stupid as it is, being that i moved out with abusive husband when i was 17 from home, now i will be moving back just where i started. What do you girls think would be the best? Is it bad that i would move back into dads home? and do you think he would mind it, thanks in advance for the advice.

I don't know your Dad or Stepmother so I couldn't say if they would mind but I don't see it would be a problem if you convert the basement into a bedsitter, paid a token rent & were polite & considerate. When you're a parent there is no cut off period in when you stop giving your children help. As long as you're not taking advantage of the situation it shouldn't be an issue.
If they are happy with the arrangement it's a great idea. You have never really been alone all your life by the sounds of it & it would be a good idea to ease your way into it. If you take on too much too soon you might set yourself up for failure & how would that effect your self esteem? You have a lot of war wounds to lick. Would be best you did it without worrying about the roof over your head. Avoid taking on too much stress to begin with, just cope with what you can.
Love Katie Bear xxxxxxxxxxxx
Katie Bear is absolutely right. Moving in with Dad at this point
Sounds like a wonderful start to your newfound independence.
Independence is the best tool you could give yourself,
After you have moved out go bye yourself new shoes, get your hair done,
Or something you have always wanted, and see how good it feels
Randy
Hi Iv,
I could easily be in your dad's situation. If I was on the other side of the coin and my daughter needed help, I would immediately step in and offer my home. Moving there temporarily is a smart move if his new wife is willing.
If you do it, make a plan now, speak honestly and tell them your future goals. Make sure EVERYONE is on the same page. It is only fair to everyone concerned.
I don't know your situation well, but for what you will be going through this next year, you need to be able to heal, grow and find yourself. So make sure at least you place yourself in an environment that you have an opportunity of peace and the freedom to make good life choices.
Good luck to you.
Terry
I was with my mom for 10 months in her cramped little 2 bedroom condo that I hated when we moved in and I still hate it today.
CL-Blueliner4