after memorial day
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| Wed, 05-26-2004 - 7:34pm |
I called the shelter for a referral to a counselor, and I'm seeing her next week. Was supposed to see her today, but got bumped.
H came back from his trip and didn't move out the way we had talked about, but he did find a place to move into on the first of the month. I can live with that--we agreed not to talk to each other much, and we're staggering our schedules so we don't see one another that much in the first place.
Talked to a couple of girlfriends and they are checking in with me, and will tell my family if anything happens. We (me and H) talked awhile last night, setting up the ground rules, and it wasn't too bad, no raised voices or name calling. He is adamant that I've got big problems, and tried to say that I'm abusive (I hit him in the chest about a year and a half ago when I found out he had been sneaking over to this woman's house and lying to me about it). Not my finest moment, but I don't believe that he's afraid of me. His denial is not quite absolute, but it's close. He's going to go to counseling, so I'm hoping that he'll see things differently. Though the only referral I could find who would work with him is a woman, and I don't think he'll go for that. I'm hoping something good will happen, but not especially hopeful. This is rough, I'm in a daze a lot of time. I guess I'd better get used to feeling like this. I'm usually an active, fun person; just trying to maintain now.
I go back to where we used to live for a couple of days next week, for work. I'm trying to decide if it's ok to leave my DS with him. Probably. I've hidden his birth cert and passport, so he's not going anywhere. I don't think he'd try it, but I didn't think he'd lay hands on me, either. It'll be good to see my friends again.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things right now.
Peace and hugs,
Cheryl =)
The minute you settle for less than you