Also, had a little eye opener today ...

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Also, had a little eye opener today ...
Sat, 01-01-2005 - 10:52pm
Even though i feel the verbal abuse hasnt "gotten to me" - i dont think anything he says is true, i KNOW i am so much better than him, i know i am smart, pretty, likeable, successful, independant, etc ... its like i am almost immune to it. It doesnt seem "normal", but over the years, i guess i can say its lost its effectiveness on me or something. I just began to blow it off as he is sick & i stopped even caring & never did pay much attention to what he has to say. NOT that it made it ok, & i realize it now & thats why i will be out soon ... but anyway, today i had lunch w/ a good old freind, we have been freinds for appx 17 years. She knew there were "issues", but i told her a LOT today. She was almost physically ILL by what i was saying. A few times her head was in her hands, w/ this look of utter disbelief & shock & sadness & anger, that my H could call me the names i was repeating, or use the threats he has used. I am so glad i opened up to her b/c it really CEMENTED that this is CRAZY living like this. Its SO NOT NORMAL!!!!!!!!!! No matter how "good" he can be, or how "good" he is w/ our dd ... its sheer utter stupidity to have stayed so long!!! R~