Am I crazy to have gotten stirred up?
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| Mon, 06-06-2005 - 3:52pm |
I had a scheduled visit to the court ordered psych today. I asked the psych on Friday afternoon if it was possible to arrange something to avoid running into AHL on the street. I explained that I was very much afraid of him. She said no problem. I come at 11:00 and AHL comes at 11:30. She asked me to come with son and my mother who watches him while I am at work. I got there a bit early and we headed to the office on a side street at about 10:40. As we were approaching her office which is located in a short little house, I froze in my tracks. There standing in front of the door was AHL. He had his back to me and was kind of pacing around impatiently. He had a backpack sitting on the little wall next to him. I backed away quickly around the corner with son and mother, and asked mother 'what do I do? He isn't supposed to be there....!' I thought at first I would leave son and mother around the corner and confront him (I had to go to my appointment after all). But then froze again. I ended up going back to son and mother, and started making phone calls. The psych wasn't answering her phone after some 10 dials, so then I called the lawyer. I was completely beside myself and must have expressed that clearly over the phone. She eventually got a hold of the psych who told me to wait until they got him in the building before coming over. They put him in another room separate from me.
I thought of why he would have shown up 1 hour before he was scheduled to. There is no reason I can come up with. I figure his only motive was to catch me in the street. And to see my son could not have been a motive either. He got to see him in the psych's office as well as a supervised visit 5pm this evening. But he did know that I showed up early for the last visit, in order to avoid him. Do you think he was intentionally trying to create a confrontation? He knew son would be there too. I was very threatened by this act. He had no reason to show up 1 hour early! Am I being paranoid, or was there really a threat here? I have described the situation that lead to the divorce in many posts. Physical and emotional violence, cheating, threats of suicide, anger, and so on and on and on.......

Hi hg,
He set you off, didn't he? Well, that was his plan and it worked. This is where you have to realize that this will always go on. If he knows he can push your buttons, he will. It's hard, but don't worry about him on the street, just worry about the outcome of what you are doing. You were very smart to contact qualified people to help you. I did that and it took me through the times you are going through.
Hang in there
Terry