am i just being dramatic?
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am i just being dramatic?
| Fri, 04-14-2006 - 10:17pm |
i am new to this site but have read a few postings. seems like there is a lot of physical abuse but it has not gotten that bad for me yet. the verbal abuse is so harsh though. i have been married for almost five years now and i knew that i made a mistake when i was at the alter. but who really backs out from there? Or am i the dumb one who didn't? we had been together for about five years, just living together when one day he just decided he wanted to leave. He left me with everything and i had two little boys to explain why we had to move in with a friend and why the man they had known for the last five years had disappeared. My husband is not the father of my boys but he had been in their lives since they were only 2 and 4 years old. Anyways after a very hard few weeks we moved on with our lives and began to live very happy lives, just the three of us. Three months past and then my now husband came back and stupid me i fell for his crap lies. Obviouly we got married, he was so nice to me. little did i know that he had gotten some dumb girl pregnant and the feelings that came with that were not good ones. It has been almost five years and the emotions will not go away. he is at the bar at least four days of the week. When he is out he will not answer his cell phone and when i call him he gets very angry. he calls me all kinds of names and tells me how stupid i am. when i ask him why he ever came back all i get is "i do not know". we have two little girls and i am very afraid to leave because he has told me how hard he will make it for me. i makes very good money and me not so much. i am sure that if i leave he will not be in the kids lives. both of my boys and girls are close to him. i do not want to disrupt their lives but do i let them learn that it is ok to treat people this way. am i just being dramatic? i know that there are others out there who have it so much worse. there is just so many things he has done to me that with the anger, i can not let it go. i had to drive my self to the hospital while i was in labor 12 weeks early because i could not find him. i was so embarrased to call my family and ask them to pick up my other three kids from the hospital because my "husband" was MIA.

No, you're not being dramatic. Verbal abuse is still abuse, and can hurt a lot worse than physical. My ex never laid a hand on me, neither did my SIL's ex lay a hand on her. They were still abusers.
Contact your local womens' shelter (should be in the Yellow Pages) for tips on how to formulate a safe plan to leave him. They can help you figure out what to do should he become violent or give you a hard time. The sooner you do this, the better- you don't want your children to grow up thinking this is normal! And, do keep us posted.
I promise you that no matter how hard it is to leave, it is much harder to stay like that forever.
Start planning to leave. Save up money, inform your friends/family what is going on in case you need a quick escape.
It can be done if you want to get out. Why do you want to stay?
i do not want to stay with him, i just feel like i am the bad guy leaving. i had to leave my boys dad when they were very young because of this same thing. i feel like it is my fault for choosing these kinds of men. my family would not support me much in leaving my husband because i do not tell them everything that happens. i am a very private person. as for friends, i am always the one that they turn to for help. i never want to be the one who has to ask for the help.
maybe just talking about things will help, not sure what i should or will do. a little scared of what could happen next. i feel like an idiot for debating. shouldn't i know what is right and wrong. i would never treat a person in this way. talk about confused!!!
keep me posted.
today is a very rough day. with every thing that happened this morning. my husband left early with his friend who lives with us to go hang out again with the guys. i have had to lie to my family so that i do not have to be around them. i would rather be alone today then have to pretend i am happy and make up some story of where my husband is. i tend to be a little emotional so it is better to not talk about things. family can always sense when things are not right, i will just avoid all the talk. they are probably upset with me for not being there with them on easter but i hate faking my emotions. i wish i could just run as far away as possible and start a whole new life for me and my children. i just would not know where to begin. i am going to start saving my money so that when i get the courage to do so i will be financially prepared. i have been praying every night that things will fix themselves. obviously, it is not working.
Marriage - nor Love, is NOT your H at a bar 3-4 nites a week. Its i not being called names. It is not being yelled at. It it certainly is NOT having to drive your pregnant self to the hospital!