Am I losing it?
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| Thu, 05-18-2006 - 12:25pm |
First time here.. Let me tell u a lil bit about myself. I am 52 yrs old. Have five children, oldest 35, youngest 19.
I have been in and out of abusive relationships, more than I would like to admit.
I have been with a man who I care about deeply now for almost four years.
I moved in with him a year after we were together. He has two daughters, two baby mammas.
one is 25 the other 14.
His ex ( the 14 yr olds mo) apparently was unfaithful and they split up about nine years now.
She was fine until I moved in with him, then I noticed she would call the house at all hours, and never having anything to do with their daughter. I thought I put a stop to it, but apparently she now calls him at work and on his cell, more times than not has nothing to do with their daughter.
He blows up for no apparent reason, tells me I am a lyer, want people to feel sorry for me, noone wants to be around me because I make them feel uncomfortable. Tells me I am hiding something, that I am talking to people about him making him out to be a bad guy( he is well known in the community)
Tells me I am jealous of his daughter and sabatage anything that she wants for her.
Just found out that several months ago he called my cousing asked her questions about me, like what happened in my XXXXXX life to have my mind so screwed up. I am a phoney, his sisters don't like me because of this(news to me)
I am always lying to him, I have some nerve giving anyone else advise on how to raise their kids when I have done so poorly with mine. Told her that he will always be in his daughters life no matter who he is with (clueless why he feels that, I never ever would interfere with his children)
Always questions me, where I am ( I work out on the field, case manager)
why I am home so early, always interagating me about the smallest things.
Makes sure he blows up when his daughter is at home with us, last thing he said to me was thaqt I was a peice of crap, my was one as well for having me( not in those words exactly, and my mom passed away several years ago and he never met her)
These are just some of the things that have gone on, I guess if anything putting it down here helps me look at things differently, I start to second guess myself and sometimes think I am going crazy because he feels I am over emotional about these things and making them out to be more than they are. If he ever says he is sorry, it is always followed by another let down, or talk down, i did this because, and there he goes again, trying to justify whatever he said i am sorry for..
Thank You guys,
I know this is very long, I needed to vent

Hi and welcome.
Welcome, goddess, I'm glad you found us.
All I can say right now is "THANK YOU"
It means so much to me to know I have someone to reach out to that is not going to judge.