!!Another Package for the Baby!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2012
!!Another Package for the Baby!!
7
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 3:42pm

So I get home today from a cat scan. And lookee here, there's a Fed Ex package.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2011
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 4:07pm
Perhaps, if he does this again - just return to sender? This really is tantamount to harassment, since the cards really are to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 4:15pm
Didn't you mention that there's a no-contact order? If so, this is contact, and he has broken the law. If not, you may be able to get your attorney to seek such an order on the grounds that he is harassing you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2012
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 4:30pm

We do have a no contact..but everything is addressed to the baby. The card is addressed and written to her- so I don't think I will get anywhere..even though the obvious is our daughter is young and can't read- lots of people give cards to kids. The verbiage in this one sounds familiar..I know he knows I have to read it. If he sends anything else I guess I should just return to sender. I feel so sad...but at least there is a part of me that is yelling back, well if you don't like your life and you miss your baby girl, then get your sh*t together and do something about it!!

But it still hurts. I should've never opened the card.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 4:44pm

I don't think the courts are naive enough to believe that babies open their own mail, but of course I am not an officer of the court, so maybe I'm the naive one.

In any case, you are entitled to know for sure whether what he is doing skirts the law or breaks it.

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 7:55pm
Live, the next time something appears from him, simply refuse delivery. He knows exactly what he's doing and if the no contact order is for both you AND your dd, he is in violation and the authorities made aware of his attempts to contact her as well. Yep, he's messing with your head, trying to punch your buttons and wear you down. Have you contacted your local domestic abuse agency about attending a support group yet? That might be very helpful for you. Also, this board's website has lots of info that might help. Here's the link: http://cl-wishful78.tripod.com/RDAHomePage.cfm. Whenever you open this board, right at the top of the page you will see its title. Directly under it is a paragraph that explains what this board is. You will see two blue links. One is for Crisis Information and the other is for "Community Website". That is the link you would click on to get to the board's awesome website. Be sure and check it out. And the next time a package appears, simply write "REFUSED" and drop it back to whatever service delivered it. They will have to return it to him, and that sends a very clear message, that you are not accepting his attempts to contact you via your dd. He will either escalate to the point where you can call the police and get something done or he'll get the message and leave you alone. BE sure and document, document, document everything he tries to send and let your attorney know. If his sugarmama is footing the bill for his attorney to mount a child custody/support battle, that documentation will come in handy.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2012
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 11:18pm

I will check out the resources on the site..I found it. I will never call the NDV

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 11:28pm
Live, you don't have to call the National Domestic Violence hotline. I don't know where you are, but I'm sure there are local resources available to you. There's a website, womenslaw.org, that lists resources by state. It will point you in the right direction for the agencies in your area. Please check it out. The NDV hotline is basically a referral service that gives you info on where you can obtain help in your area. Please go to womenslaw.org and see what is available where you are. A support group/counseling can be of tremendous help to you while you work through all of this.

Regarding the abuser in y our life - did you inform the DA that he has several felonies? If not, do so. Good luck and keep us posted. Even though you had a little setback today, you're doing much better already.

Mama Harmony