answer quick--he called
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answer quick--he called
| Tue, 03-28-2006 - 9:15pm |
He called when I was out tonight. Just today I was feeling so sick over this whole thing. I felt like we never got closure. I would like him to know I am not seeing anyone else. I feel like I should have told him calmly and talked about it instead of breaking up abruptly. Is it possible to get closure??? I don't want to get back with him at all!! However, I feel very bad and guilty about how I handled this and its tearing me apart. Do you think that any kind of closure is possible for me?
Its hard to be "Strong"
P.S. I didn't call him back.
Edited 3/28/2006 11:37 pm ET by strong2006
Edited 3/29/2006 12:45 am ET by strong2006

I thought I had closure and I hope I do now. I think with breaking up abuptly, it is the only way to finally go through with starting closure.
I've been torn apart also and can relate to what you mean by feeling guilty and how you handled this. We're in the same. I'm trying to be strong, but when I am alone I find myself guilty and crying. I try to find some sort of support outlet, which is why I am here, well one of the reasons.
Don't feel guilty. I wonder if sometimes it's the feeling sorry for the situation and/or person, when there has indeed been some good times. It's like a loss for both of us, but the guilt is something we have to try to turn around. I feel guilty for the way this ended, but I know if I were to go back again (which I now will not do) I'll have that constant reminder of what i've done - only to be thrown into a psychological circle again of me abandoning or leaving.
Hugz to you and it's nice to know that we all have something in common and going through this is some sort of support, knowing that we are not alone.
What Sweetdreams said. Also, I cannot overemphasize this, what is happening to him is NOTHING MORE THAN THE NATURAL CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS. He chose, yes, chose, to engage in the behaviors he did, and what is going on now is nothing more or less than what would happen to anyone else who did these things.
You are not the "cause" of anything. If you are anything, you are the means by which what's coming to him gets there. It's basic cause-and-effect, if one chooses to act in X manner, then Y will be the inevitable consequence. Abusers aren't too quick to figure that out, but this rule applies to them the same as anyone else.
It's amazing how similar we feel. That is just more support that they are indeed abusing us and we aren't resposible. I have been reading Patricia Evans book tonight. It seems to help.
Lots of hugs back!
strong
What you say makes sense. I just have to keep reading it again because I forget so quickly. This board is a lifesaver! I know that I would be worse off than I am without you all! Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my posts. I know I seem needy now but hopefully I will be able to start moving on. I'm still waiting for the crisis center to get back to me.
Gratefullly,
strong
Edited 3/29/2006 11:55 pm ET by strong2006