Anyone here had counseling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Anyone here had counseling?
5
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 4:54am
I'm thinking of going for counseling, I just found out there wouldn't be a fee in my income level, but I'm scared. I'm afraid I'm either fine, and don't need counseling, or they'll think I'm crazy and send me to a hospital or something. Has anyone ever had counseling?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 10:19am

Hi there
yes, indeed, I have gone to individual counselling (just a few sessions, my company was only willing to pay for 4 sessions)
I actually found it sort of therapeutic - found a way to deal with my anger and frustration, though it was too short a time to figure out how best to deal with my husband and make sure he changed his behaviour.
So now (3 years and 1 baby later) he is slipping down the slope again (not that he was well behaved these past 3 years, it's just that it wasn't "completely crazy" and he had honeymoon periods in between)

Anyway don't worry about the counsellor treating you badly or thinking you're one with the problem - most of them are well trained and need to know that you are in an abusive situation so that they can help you the right way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 10:23am
Hi cshellie...counseling is just a matter of talking to another person about what's going on in your life and getting insightful input. You might or might not get a good counselor in which case you can just change counselors, but it can be very helpful in sorting out your thoughts. I've seen counselors before and since I work at a domestic violence shelter I work with several counselors. They're all really nice people with problems of their own just like all human beings. If you're fine and don't need counseling, you've lost nothing and gained insight. If you go in acting suicidal or homicidal they might put you in a hospital, but otherwise, you'll be fine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 3:42am

I had counselling for about a year and a half about a year ago. I found it to be a life changing event.

I have had chronic depression my whole life and she helped me realize that I am still a good whole person and not "crazy" for feeling out of control and depressed sometimes.

She helped me understand why I felt the way I did and helped me find ways to cope and to deal with my stresses.

It is very good therapy to talk about everything I found and a good therapist is reasuring of your thoughts and feelings and helps explain things.

I say go for it and give it a try. There really isn't anything to lose and it may make things feel much much better.

Good luck (((HUGS)))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2004
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 4:27am
i've found counseling to be a great help to me, not just in the situation with my stbxh but also with other issues in my life. it's nice to have someone to "vent" to without worrying about who might find out or that they may judge you. the first counselor i had i didn't click with at all and so i was allowed to switch to another(this is paid for by victim services in canada)and she has been great! whenever i felt guilty about somthing or doubted i was doing the right thing, she would always call me back on the phone or get me into her office and just reassured me i was normal and what i was feeling wasnt wrong or crazy. and sometimes just talking about your problems and issues helps you see them more clearly and making decisions is alot easier that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 10:06am

When I decided last August that I needed to get out I specifically decided to find a counselor who would help me. And I can say that without her being there I may not have had the courage to finally leave. She was a rock of support to me. When I would waiver and feel guilty or sorry for my abuser she would remind me of things I had told her and she would help me work my way through the two realities in my life - reality through my own eyes and the bizarre reality of living with an abusive man. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to this woman for her help in taking back my life.

I think that counselling can be a wonderful tool in helping ourselves. I would give it a try. Trust yourself. You will be able to tell if the person you are set up with is someone you can trust. Remember that you have a right to decide to work with someone and not to work with someone if the person does not feel or seem right to you.

I know for myself that getting counselling is one of the best things I have done for myself. I wish you all the best.

Kristina