Are red flags always red flags?
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|Wed, 03-30-2011 - 8:52am|
Several years ago I met J on line. Somehow while talking we fell in love. He helped me get though the last couple of years with my x husband. We talked all the time though email and instant messenger. When I left SC and to NY I stopped in to see him and after three years of talking on line we met in person. But that is when things started to go down hill. We didn't talk as much and we disagreed on things when it came to parenting. Nothing major but I would get annoyed with him more then I didn't, most was over the not talking and his drinking. Then we talked about getting married and I was going to move there, he lives in PA and I wouldn't let him move here because he has two little boys. About a year and a half ago I ended things with him because I no longer saw a future for us because I was not moving there while he was drinking.
A few weeks ago my children and I went out of town and stupid me went to see J. When we hugged it felt like home and were I belong. We talked on the way home and I misunderstood him and thought he had stopped drinking but he hadn't. He claims he is working on it now and is going to stop because I finally told him what I thought about the drinking and how it was a main problem. He is also calling me pretty much every day and he sends me a text message almost every morning. But were the flags come if for me is he wants to pick up were we left off. He is also willing to move here and has talked to his x wife and children about this, we have only been talking again for a month. He also asked me to marry him again and was very upset when I told him things are moving to fast. The other flag is he says he doubt I will find anyone who appreciates me as much as he does. I know moving to fast is a flag but for him his feelings never changed for me and he is picking up were we left off but is that possible? He claims he understands why I am thinking we are moving to fast but not so sure I believe that. Also with the appreciate thing that could simply be because I dated someone in the time we didn't talk and and he was a jerk (but now he is being nice and trying to convince me things would be different, did not tell him about J being back in the picture). So are flags always flags?