are these realistic anxieties?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
are these realistic anxieties?
1
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 12:11am

I haven't posted in awhile because all was quiet for sometime as the custody case was being reviewed by the psych that AHL demanded. Not much worry here about the custody situation since all things positively point in my direction. But some things do worry me...

He wrote another email to my work.... this is the 2nd (or 3rd?). It simply says 'you're not the only one with feelings' as the subject line and text says 'remember us' with 3 photos attached. The 'us' wasn't myself and him, but my son and him. The 3 photos were of my son and him at the supervised visitation. He has already been told twice that he is breaking the restraining order by doing so. It isn't as if he is confused about what he is allowed to do. I notified the lawyer and hope someone will take action because so far only verbal warnings. I worry when he takes no regard for the law. The counselor in the supervised visitation center said I should 'watch myself' because they don't trust him one bit.

I wrote sometime ago how he took all the cash from the accounts as well as siphened cash during at least the last two years. Also refuses to pay child support ordered as well as 1100 ordered specifically in the divorce decree. According to the US gov, if X is in arrears over 5000 dollars, the passport can be confiscated. This should be the case by July. It is a great way to keep him away from me and son(I can't express how much he terrifies me). However, I thought that the result would be either he refuses to ever pay it and decides 'screw the passport' or he pays right away. The later is what frightens me. If he pays, he will probably think that he is going to get it back from me one way or the other. I don't mean money either. That would be a very dangerous situation. He is a bit warped in the head. He once told me 'I am a born killer, and I have no problems killing for profit or pleasure'. He told me that with that horrible demon look in his eyes.

What should I do? Do I get cowed by him, forced to accept he will never pay me money ordered by the courts. Do I just sit back and accept that he can come here anytime he wishes to harrass me and demand to see my son?

Or do I pull the passport in the hopes I can assure some measure of safety, but risk his taking revenge on me? Am I crazy for thinking he would take revenge on me? Is he really capable of doing something horrible? He must know it would ruin his life if he ever tried anything because he could never get away with even an attempt.

To tell you the truth, the posts concerning abuser's threats of suicide really hit home. I would only be relieved if he were to take himself permanently away. It isn't hatred which makes me think such thoughts, but fear.

I really wish I knew what the right thing to do is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 8:18am
If he has been court orderd to pay you back the funds and he has yet to do so....contact your lawyer ASAP!
5yrssm