a bad morning

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
a bad morning
2
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:32am
Hi all,
This morning was dreadful. I was up all night vomiting and he knew I was ill. He came home from work (the night shift), and sat on the bed and started kissing me. I tried to make him stop but he wouldn't. Then he went to take a shower. I was fully clothed and laying in bed because I got sick every time I stood up (nasty virus). He got out of the shower and layed down on the bed, naked, next to me. I tried to leave the bed but he grabbed me and pulled me to him...held me there. I told him I would not have sex with him, and he kept telling me that he knows I still have something for him. Again, kept telling him I didn't want to have sex. He says "Oh, you want sex, I can smell it." He then sat on me and straddeled me, held me down this way. Then he took off my shorts and underwear and sat on me, held my legs so I couldn't get up. I kept telling him I wouldn't have sex with him. He got really mad and got off of me...clenched his fists, stared at me and said "fine, hold onto all the bad stuff, just hold on to it." He told me he wanted me to postpone the hearing...I told him no. He then proceeded to tell me there would be a custody fight and a fight for the house. He left and I got in the shower. He came into the bathroom, threw open the shower curtain and said..."you hate me, just admit it...you hate the sight of me." ......It's gonna be a LONG 4 months!!! I wrote this up and e-mailed it to my attorney who is out of town this week. I don't know what good it will do but at least it's documented (us nurses know how to do that well! :) Thanks for letting me vent friends
A
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
In reply to: pearson1963
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 9:28am

A, I hope you're safe at the moment and on the mend from your illness. Your persistence and nerve in defending yourself knocks me over. And it worked! You made him back off.

You did the right thing in emailing your lawyer about this incident, but I'm going to suggest one more thing. Call the local police and ask for the officer who handles sexual assault. Don't talk with just anyone, get hold of an officer who deals specifically with sexual assault or domestic abuse. This was definitely an assault. Whether it fits the legal definition of attempted rape or not, he obviously meant to rape you. You said no several times and he kept mauling you. He broke the law and you deserve protection. I don't know how to say this gently. He could have taken the attack further and there's no indication that he won't next time. The things he said scare me. He thinks sexual assault is a good way to get you to give in on other issues. This guy is dangerous. I'm very much afraid he will do this again if he's not called to account for it.

If you're still too sick to take action, go to a hospital. Ask for a nurse who specializes in sexual assault and explain the situation. They can give you a safe bed and medical attention until you're able to move around, go to court, etc.

Be safe. If you need to talk with someone, the RAINN hotline is excellent:1-800-656-HOPE. Keep us posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: pearson1963
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 3:10pm

I absolutely couldn't agree more, honey.

CL-Blueliner4