BF drunk, I am in Mississippi now

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
BF drunk, I am in Mississippi now
3
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 9:01pm

Hi

I want to thank those who replied to my post last week. I am now in MS with the Katrina disaster relief here in Ocean Springs. BF had a fit of course, and has been drunk for 1 week solid. He told me that the only reason my family could support me is that they do not live with me. Since I have been gone, he has not been back to work, and has been drinking everyday all day, He has been calling here, and I have talked to him twice. He just keeps saying he loves me, promisises to stop drinking, but has not. My oldest son, 22, had to leave home and go stay with his sister and I will not leave here till Aug 2. The police will not make him leave my house unless he becomes violent, so my son decided to go to his sisters. The rent has not been paid, he spent his share and my sons share on booze. I do not know if I will have a home to go home to. I think he thinks that I will be forced to go back home if he keeps drinking, to rescue him. But I refuse to give in to his manipulation. I am feeling great here really helping a lot of people. And as far as I am concernned, it is over between me and him. I will not let anyone tell me what to do or abuse me. He actually told me that I should not do this, but he was not in the position to tell me I could not go. I guess he means if we had been married he could have kept me from coming here. I know he has some serious contro l issues. He got real mad, drunk before I left and said f...you! To me love is not aboout control, abusive words, or looking out for your own intrests, not caring about what the other needs. But it is all about him, always has been.

Thanks
Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 10:34am
I know for me, being away from a situation gives me a more objective look at it. It seems that way for you. I always feel good when I'm with people who are helpful, kind, and sociable. Hooray for you for going out and helping the Katrina victims. Try to keep thoses thoughts and feelings when you go back home, and remember to take care of YOU first. A drunk couch warmer is not a need.
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Avatar for adryl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 4:54pm

Elsa,

You're doing great on standing firm with you BF. Hopefully when you return home you'll be able to get him out of your life. Perhaps he does love you, but it sounds like he loves the alcohol more, and no one should live like that.

I also want to say thank you for your help here on the MS Gulf Coast. I lived in Ocean Springs before Hurricane Katrina. The tidal surge wiped us out. Of course we never got as much national attention here as New Orleans did, but I heard the other day that Hurricane Katrina recovery was no longer receiving as much news coverage because people are tired of hearing about it. I was thinking - try living it 10 months later! Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. All of the volunteers will never know just how much they are appreciated.

Adrianne

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 8:03am

"To me love is not aboout control, abusive words, or looking out for your own intrests, not caring about what the other needs."


Preach it, sister.