Can you guys see what you think of this

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Can you guys see what you think of this
4
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 7:24pm

letter to the GAL?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 10:19pm

I feel your pain Rebecca. I ran into the same thing with my ex when we went to trial. I was told that until the ex physically hurts the baby I can't stop or contain his visitation as he has rights no matter how he behaves. I keep an eye out and I hope he really is terminal as he swears he is as I don't think this will ever truely end until he's dead.

Today he told me that he thought that the baby would take a nap soon after I picked him up cause he was grumpy. I smiled and said yeah like his father. She then took his hand and as they walked back to their truck leaned over and kissed him. Makes me sick and when he takes his last breathe I will enjoy telling her she's never touching my child again and she can kiss my azz. I don't allow my son to associate with womena who give BJs in bar parking lots.

I think the GALs don't care or at least that's what I've seen in Maryland. I did everything she asked me to do willingly and without hesitation and in the end if I tried to say anything about the visitation she just said that she "gave" me sole custody. I felt really threatened so I gave up and kept quiet and now my ex gets my son every weekend from noon Sat till 6pm on Sunday. I'm the only one working and weekends are the only times I can do things with him that are fun. But instead my ex gets to take him to petting zoos and children's festivals cause they're all on the weekends.

I could tell you more horror stories from my group with GALs too. It just seems stupid to me that your ex can use Averey as a emotional punching bag and the courts just let him. My ex threatens to kill me 3 different times, punches a hold in the wall in the hospital the day after my son was born, serves 57 days in jail for running me off the road in front of where I work during death threat number 2. And still gets all his parental rights. I even had his ex girlfriend who his older daughter is by in court to testify how he is in and out of her life constantly. The daughter wanted to testify, but I would not let her.

Hang in there. I keep hoping somehow things will get better. It hasn't happened yet for me or you, but I keep hoping.

Hugs from Maryland,
Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 10:21pm

I don't know if it would help, but is there any way you could be more - I don't know, clinical- in your description of events? I've read a couple of your letters from when he's done other stuff, and they're emotional, which is perfectly understandable given what's going on. However, I kind of wonder if the GAL isn't using it as an excuse to write you off as a hysterical female, which she seems predisposed to do anyways.

I am trying to explain what I mean and doing a bad job of it, but next time (and I'm sure there will be one, knowing him) try to write it up as if it were something you were seeing as a third-person, uninvolved observer. Make it as "just the facts" as you possibly can. I don't know if it will help, but it's an idea to try.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 5:58am
I agree with Erin, and also want to suggest that you write not on an incident-by-incident basis, but document EVERYTHING, so a pattern will be apparent. The GAL has other things to do, so make it as easy as possible for her to see what M is doing to cause trouble. You could even go back through your posts here to compile a record.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 8:33am

Thanks. That is what i do. I compile the incidents & over the past 15 months I have sent 5 letters, in total - compiling them all over a few months time.

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