Can't take anymore
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| Wed, 01-12-2005 - 12:20pm |
Hello,
I am new to the board, I've been looking around and reading trying to find some help and support. My husband and I have been together for seven years, we've only been married for 2 years. We've been trying to work out our problems but it seems to be getting worse. He has such a bad temper, he's so jealous and very abusive. Nothing I do pleases him, we have 2 year old twins a boy and girl. I love my kids, and I love him to death, I've never been with anyone else besides him but he always seems to think i have a hidden agenda and accuses me of cheating on him.
Last night he had a couple of friends over playing cards and I was in the bedroom watching tv. I came out to get something to drink and I had on a pair of shorts and a tank top. He accused me of trying to "show off" in front of his friends and embarass him by wearing shorts and a tank top. I tried to just walk away and get back in the room but he grabbed me and threw me against the wall. His cousin was the only one to get him off of me, the others just acted like nothing even happened. I was so embarrassed and hurt. After they left he came into the room, I had already fell asleep he woke me up, started yelling and cursing at me calling me everything in the book. He beat me so bad, I couldn't even go to work this morning. It hurts to even move my arm to pick up the kids....I dont even know right now. I'm home alone thinking of leaving again.... but the last time I left when he found me, he put me in the hospital for three days. I'm so scared to leave him he knows everyone in the neighborhood, I can't leave my kids. I've looked into the shelters but I dont really want to put my children through that. Their daddy is everything to them. I'm so confused, I've cried so much I don't think I can cry anymore. No one really knows what happens at home, and there aren't too many people I can confide in. I'm a successful business woman, yet I feel so stupid and can't figure out why this is happening to me. He took my wallet, car keys because he says I dont need it. He's already called to apologize, but I know this is routine. I'm only 24 yrs old, I dont want to live the rest of my life fearing him, or getting these beatings. Sorry I wrote so much but I would appreciate your advice.
Thanks, Sasha

Sasha, you are in extreme, extreme danger.
What your H did to you last night, and has done to you previously is criminal assault.
CL-Blueliner4
Sasha, he is extremely dangerous. Please follow the previous advice!
One thing about your post really struck me and I have to say something to you. You said that you don't want to put your children through going to a shelter, and I understand that you don't want to "upset" the household but sweetheart please try to see the big picture -- witnessing their mother being beat up and put into hospital by their father is something that will hurt them more than anything else in their lives.
You taking them to a shelter may be the biggest blessing they will recieve in their lifetime. Breaking free from this man will upset things for awhile, but it is necessarry if you want to stay safe and alive and have healthy, happy children who have a mother. YOU are not putting them through this, HE IS. Remember that.
WARNING, WARNING, WARNING : JOINT COUNSELING IS NEVER RECOMMENDED IN ABUSE SITUATIONS
There are a couple reasons for it:
The first is that traditional marriage counseling is designed for healthy couples who are having communication issues.
CL-Blueliner4