circus in the court

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
circus in the court
1
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 12:50am

I must share with everyone what happened in court yesterday. Sorry for more ranting but talking about it helps. That wonderful guy of mine who is completely astonished I would open a restraining order on him has challenged it and took me to court. He had the courts summon 2 witnesses on his behalf and I had one. He told me in front of everyone and the judge that 'I wanted to do this peacefully (meaning he gets everything and I beg on the corner, no money, child or home) but you refuse. So I am going to get half your pension, half your paycheck, all the savings, custody of the child, and you will pay all my legal fees. This will last as long as you want it to (meaning until I give up and let him have everything anyway)'. The judge snapped back that it wasn't my decision as to how long this would last and that he was hurting the child by threatening to prolong this.

Next he challenged that he never pointed a gun at me in threat because he didn't own guns. I produced a document that shows he had two (although there were 4 I knew of). His argument was 'so what, they were registered and legal'.

My witness described a situation she saw where he grabbed my son and shook him violently in the air (at 3 years old) and told him to 'shut up now!' because he was crying and throwing a tantrum about going home. The focus was about the shaking though as it hurt him badly. His lawyer began asking how long my son had been crying before the shaking. The judge misunderstood the point to her question but when he realized what she was getting at, he expressed his disgust at such a question. She was trying to show that my son deserved to be treated that way because he had been crying for more than X minutes. The spouse's response to the judge was 'So you mean to say you will take my son away from me because I told him to shut up?!'

He argued with the judge over being able to call the house and harrass me on the phone about talking to my son. The judge said he broke the restraining order by doing such and that it wasn't to happen again. He and his lawyer said he has joint custody and should be able to. He was told 'absolutely not'.

He called in his two witnesses who were asked by the judge 'do you know these two people personnally as a couple?' They said no, only from brief encounters. They only knew him. His lawyer asked them 'have you ever seen him be violent to his wife?' They again said no but they didn't really know me. The judge dismissed them immediately. His lawyer said she wanted to continue the court another day to call in more witnesses. The judge was disgusted and told her 'Why do you think I am going to change my mind about keeping the restraining order on him?' However, they have the right to question my mother and so he had to let them schedule another date. My lawyer was mad and said they are wasting time and money on this.

What my spouse is trying to teach me in all of this is:

His abuse continues even in front of the judge and is totally justifiable because everyone should agree with him I deserve to be treated like trash.

A gun pointed at the head is completely acceptable so long as it is registered.

Physically abusing a child is completely ok if the child deserves it.

That I should give up peacefully and allow him everything while I get the debts, otherwise he will get everything while I get the debts.

One question before I finish: Since this is taking place in Europe, things are working a bit differently. Some of what he is saying in court may not be allowed in the US. But he has argued we were obligated to use the US system for the restraining order and not the local. My lawyer said she has studied this carefully and that is not true, so don't worry. But out of curiosity, I ask what are the rules for a restraining order in the US? He says in US there must have been police involvement or doctors evidence immediately prior to requesting the restraining order and that for this reason it is not a valid order since the things happened without a police report and/or some time ago. Is this true about restraining orders? What are the grounds for having one?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 1:06am

Oh. My. God.


What an absolutely self-righteous SOB!

CL-Blueliner4