Close to doing this..

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Close to doing this..
5
Thu, 05-12-2011 - 12:48am

today..as usual..he came and started to pick on this and that..guess what many times, I wanted to smash (whatever I was holding) against his face. Guess I need to get out..else I will land in statistics of women who get physical as they cant take it anymore..what is it they say..people snap as they can't take it anymore. I did try to say it - like if he doesnt like it he can do it yourself..more in a joking tone..but he gets mad and raises his voice. Like my therapist says..he intends to make you afraid by bullying ..and you have to believe there are laws that protect and not give into the fears he instills.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 05-12-2011 - 9:41pm

Hi Winter;

I remember when I was living with my abusive ex husband.. One day I snapped and I went at him and I started pounding on him.

The next day at therapy my therapist told me its time for you to get out of that house. I was so shocked at my behavior because that is not the person I am.. I am a very kind and mellow and laid back zen type of person.

I believe that was the week that I left ex because I knew that it was going to be me or him and I didnt want to take that path and I surely didnt want to end up a statistic .

Think of this.. Are these guys really worth it.? Is it worth staying with your hubby because of your daughter. Is it worth it?

Is it just dam worth it anymore???

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 05-13-2011 - 12:04am

I think it's time for you to stop coming up with the million reasons you've had so far to NOT leave.....and just GET OUT of there.

Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 11:33pm

Many years ago I had a friend that went after her abuer in self defense. He called the police on her and in Floria when a call is made someone goes to jail. She spent the night in jail. The judge threw out the case seeing as he was twice her size and he was the one with the history of DV. But that could have gone the other way for her and if you go after him then you could be the one to end up in jail if he doesnt come after you. Another story I hit my ex husband at some point and he sworeI hit him in the face. I still stand with what I said then that I did not hit him in the face. But he would swear I did and he cut himself on the face saying I did it. I was lucky he didnt call the cops over that but what he did instead was throw that in my face all the time and tell me I was no better then him. Why hand him more to use against you or put your life and/or freedom in danger for someone who isnt worht it?


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Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 12:48pm

you are correct..no I would never do that..as that places me in similar position as him..So I dont know what has come over..but he is not doing anything to make me call police or stepping outside the norm. He still is verbally/mentally abusive..most of it though is yelling and not anything that I can get RO on. My plan is back firing. There is nothing that will make him leave the house..the only way to do this is to give him what he wants...(which is the part time custody)...and take off..maybe that's why I keep having a wall raise up..everytime I want to leave.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 05-20-2011 - 12:29am

I soo understand that feeling....but don't do it! It would be better to walk away, to leave for good...I smacked my ex in the arm a couple of times...so glad it didnt escalate...he blamed ME when I "got in his face" and he "had to defend himself" by pushing me backward over the coffee table, brusing me, hurting my back, leg, and arm, and breaking two toes...