Confused!!
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Confused!!
| Fri, 07-23-2004 - 4:12pm |
I was told to post this by a great person on another message board and she spoke very highly of this board! I hope someone out there can help me understand. Matt and I have been dating for four years. The first year, I blew to pieces, I cheated, I didn't call, I did just about everything to sabotage the relationship. However, he stuck it out no matter what. He is a very loving person at times and that's is what keeps me holding on. We both come from a broken family with anger problems and over the past few years, we have gotten into several physical altercations. I don't get physical until I feel threatened by him, if he starts the physical portion, I have no choice but to stand up for myself. He has never slapped me or punched me, just holds me down hard on the floor. He tends to do it when he has been drinking. He has always paid the bills but tends to throw that in my face when we argue. The last altercation was on July 3 at my bosses boat party, he got insecure and decided to be obnoxious and hold me against the rail of the boat. Several guys took him down and beat him up a little and kicked him off the boat. I haven't been home since. I was embarrassed and upset. I told him that he would have to take anger management classes in order for me to come home. Am I being to picky? Should I be doing something also to keep the relationship together? Is all the bad karma coming back to haunt me? Please help!!

Hi Legal, and welcome -
First things first, just relax.
CL-Blueliner4
I'm so happy that you are out but, I want to caution you. This is the time you should expect the full-court-press from him. Stand you're ground. You know, deep inside, that this guy has a problem that has nothing to do with you. Listen to your inner voice. It's not you or anything you did or did not do. It's him. He's an abuser. It's who he is and you deserve better. You've just been his unsuspecting victim - until now, that is.
Keep looking up^, Susan.