Confused about Responsibilities
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Confused about Responsibilities
| Mon, 03-29-2004 - 12:55am |
If you are in a relationship that is extremely emotionally, psycologically,and esp. financially abusive, would it hold up in court? How can you really document something like that, much less prove it? I realize that denying medical care is considered physical abuse, but since i have a job wouldn't that really be my own responsibility? My husband's work has an insurance plan and they would pay for half and take the other half out of his check before deducting taxes. He refuses to do this. I have no insurance at my job. I have always worked jobs where i am able to be home at night with the kids (one ours, one his from a previous marriage)and i've always been able to take them to school in the mornings and be there for them whenever needed. He works literally around the clock, and the few days he is off, he's usually off doing his own thing (shopping etc.)He has dictated certain bills that i am responsible for, generally utility bills, car insurance, etc. However, after paying these there is nothing left over. I often have to call utility companies and make payment arrangements actually. I'm also a student and have missed class many times because i had no money for gas. However, husband always has plenty to do as he pleases, but won't help me out at all. Acts really put out if i ask. It's to the point now that i just mention things like "i'm out of gas and have class tonight" or " i have a dr's appt. but no money to pay" He either chews me out for not being more responsible, or just ignores me.I don't feel i'm being irresponsibe, i feel like i'm shouldering more than my share.Am i wrong? I have a thyroid problem and have not been able to see the dr for about eight months. I'm suspose to go every two to three months. They've had a hard time stabilizing me, and i've been to the er a few times as well. I am able to at least take my blood pressure meds which help some because that prescription hasn't run out yet. I've also been diagnosed with panic disorder. I'm sure my home life has alot to do with this, but of course how can you really know.It really would be much cheaper if my husband would just get the insurance, but he won't have that. It's like all he sees is that that comes out of HIS check.It's embarrassing to not be able to pay your bills. I can tell the secretary at the drs office feels sorry for me. I'm sure they don't understand why i can't pay because my husband and i both work, and our kids are well provided for at least as far as clothes, toys, etc. Plus i hold a very respectable job. Something i gained by being hardworking and responsible (at least at work they think of me that way.)But i've charged so much there, and haven't been able to pay except sporadically. I guess i just really don't know what to do. I don't know how long i'll be able to stay healthy enough to keep functioning. Someone tell me, am i being irresponsible? Shouldn't a husband who is able help his wife?

A husband should not only help financially, but have a true concern for their partner's health. It's obvious this guy is missing these essential elements. You say you are caring for his child also? Who is taking care of those bills? Why not write down all the essentials bills you pay and how much $$ you actually bring in. See if he will actually pay attention that way. If not, then you need to make choices that are right for you. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of the little ones.
Terry
Shellie, I am a great believer in document it all and let the pros sort it out.
CL-Blueliner4