confused, scared, hurt

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2004
confused, scared, hurt
2
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 12:23pm
Hi! I just want to tell my story somewhat. I don't really want to tell anyone bc they may cause more "trouble" & trust me I need no more! Saturday night my husband & I go out to eat or we try to. His cell phone rings ALL night for his "side buisness". I try to encourage him to turn his cell phone off or just not answer bc I work a 2nd job on Friday nights so we don't get to go out but on Saturdays. (We haven't been married but for 7 months) He refused to turn it off & of course Saturday night a total waste bc of me. So then here comes Sunday-he is outside working in the yard & I'm inside cleaning. Nex thing I know the"'buisness line" is ringing & I don't answer. The people who were calling just decide to come on by. They finally leave & we're on our way to see a friend in the hospital. On the way we are arguing about the past 2 days & he is saying things like I'm never happy, he can't please me, & all I do is B$%^h! Well, I slammed on breaks bc I wanted him out of my car! I couldn't take it anymore! I just wanted him out! After I slammed on breaks he turned around & as he calls it gave me a "chop" right across the face throat & chest. He's 180 lbs & 6 foot. I'm 4'11 115 lbs. When he did that I started to cry & I told him that I haven't been treated that way since my mom was married to my step-father 5 yeras ago. He told me he didn't care that if I EVER did that again he'd "bust my face". Then he told me I was a stupid "b&*$ch!" Monday we argued again about it. He told me I was crazy & needed help bc I deserved it bc he was protecting himslef from me. I told him my face hurt & that it was swollen. He told me that it wasn't & to go get help. Sorry it's so long!!! I feel better letting it all out. Please help me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 1:42pm

Hi Cari and welcome -


What he did, any type of hit to the throat, could have killed you.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:28pm
I wish I could just hug you right now. I ache for you and for every woman out there dealing with this right now.

As a survivor, reading these posts really help me on my road to healing, and occasionally, I'll read something that triggers "this thing inside me."

When I was married, my ex and I were sitting down ont he couch watching a biography, and I made a comment he didn't like, and wham, the back of his hand hit my face dead on. I bled like crazy and sobbed and cried. I got up to clean myself, and he grabbed me and told me I wasn't going anywhere. I sat there and bawled, and bled all over my shirt. I could feel my nose and eyes swelling. After ten minutes of quietly sobbing, I softly asked permission to clean myself up. He looked at me all puzzled like, and said "Oh my God, Sarah, you're bleeding, what did you do?" I was stunned. I couldn't believe it. I stammered out "I don't know what happened". He leaned over, cupped my chin in his hand (the same one he belted me with) and said, "Sweetheart, you have to be more careful with this beautiful face, now let me get you some ice and clean you up." And he did. He jumped off the couch, got a warm cloth, cleaned my face, and put ice on it, and then asked if I wanted to go to the hospital because I had "gashed myself" quite badly.

That was one of his "crazy making" things he did to try to make me think I was nuts. He would occasionally hold me down and hit me in the face with my own fist (forced me to hit "myself", kinda thing).

Sorry, but your story aobut the car made me think of that.

You are not alone...you can do this, kick his a$$ to the curb. I did...and I survived.

Good Luck and many many hugs,

Sarah