Control issues

Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Control issues
2
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 10:54am
He is a control freak. Sorry I just need to spill I haven't posted in awhile things have been crazy (not with Him so much just work). I informed him last night that i was going to a wedding on August 28th a co worker of mine and he asked me "Why would you want to go to a co workers wedding"? I told him that this person is really nice talked to this person all the time and is an ver all swell person. Well he went on about how "It hasn't worked in the past (me being friends with co workers) why would I think it would work now? I told him just to forget it I would not go if he was going to get mad about it. He told me I was missing the whole point and went on. See to make a long story short about the past real quick i was good friends with a guy at work and we hung out all the time and what not had a great friendship with him and a bunch of his friends. Well one night when my friend wasn't home i was hanging out with his friends alcohol was involved and I was gang raped. Well I don't talk to those guys anymore and the good friend of mine has dropped those friends. So since the one incident happened and that was 6 years ago. I was younger then! So since that once incident happened 6 years ago my Significant other the Abuser in my life has to bring that up. As it is not painful enough he has to bring that up and how it is partly my fault. Whatever?! So back to me not going to the friends wedding it just pisses me off that i have let a guy take control of my life like this. I went to a new therapist I really liked her a lot. I think the reason is why i keep cahngeing therapists is that maybe they will find something wrong with me and not him. This therapist said "you sound like the classic battered women". That woke me up a lot when i heard the word battered. He hasn't hit me since April maybe but his words hurt worse. When we have good moments like a few ights ago watching a movie I think to myself if only things could be like this all the time it would be so wonderful. Thanks for letting me vent. I am truely greatful for everyones support!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 2:39pm

Smoothie, suffering from battered women's syndrome/battered spouse syndrome isn't a "problem" with you.

CL-Blueliner4

Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 4:08pm
Thanks blueliner! Just to clairify he is not my Husband just my Fiance' but I WILL NOT Marry him now. Yes I am getting more and more frustrated everyday and with that i have a plan. I know i have had plans in the past and broke them or left for a few days and went back but i can no longer do this anymore. My plan may take a few months at the most part due to money issues. I let him talk me into borrowing money from my grandpa ($1,400) bad mistake on my half. As sson as all of that money or at least half gets put back in there I am out of there. I know what a lot of people may say that "Are you sure all the money will get put back"? We put in $100-$200 every other payday of mine and he puts in some money as well so It may not take to long to build that up. That is one good thing I can say he is good about paying back money he borrows. However the money did go towards fixing my car so its not like i didn't know where the money was going. Ok I am starting to ramble. Thanks so much for your support so glad I have a place to come to vent. You all are the greatest here!