Counseling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Counseling?
2
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 4:07pm
(Cross-posted from sister board.)

Well, ladies, I need your opinion.

I recently e-mailed my local shelter about some counseling options that they offer. As many of you are aware, I've been out since late October and my divorce has been final for about four months now, but I'm still dealing with the "aftermath." As it turns out, the shelter offers individual one-on-one counseling as well as some support groups of about four to six people each. One of the support groups is actually a book study group for a book entitled "It's My Life Now." I recently ordered that book, but have not yet read it. That group started last Monday, and will meet every Monday evening.

However, I'm not sure if I can even benefit from counseling anymore at this late date. I feel like when I really needed counseling the most, I wasn't getting it, so what's the point now? Also, I don't think I could sit there in a group of people and tell my story (IRL, that is!) without feeling *really* uncomfortable. Also, how would I explain to my friends/family/BF that I'm in therapy for this lousy marriage that's already over? Won't they be like, "Just get over it already!"? I just don't know if I should try to sign up for this or not. I would almost prefer to keep it a secret from my friends, family and BF, but I just don't know if that's possible (especially since I live with my BF). What do y'all think?

Love & Hugs,

Emm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2004
In reply to: irishgrrrl78
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 7:57pm
Well, you must have been thinking about counseling to seek it again. Obviously, you think you need it for some reason. Go get it! Go to your support groups. It's always nice to know we're not in this alone. As far as other people knowing, they don't have to but what's the big deal? You'd be surprised (as I was) to learn how many people out there seek therapy. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. I called my old counselor again tonight to find another one that I could be covered under insurance. I'm not divorced yet, just separated, and trying to deal with issues. Counseling helps. It's objective. And it takes a long time to "get over" a lousy marriage. I was counseled with a good counselor on how to break away from a lousy marriage. I now need to learn how to deal with my own emotional issues. Friends, family, and boyfriend should understand. If they don't, then they're not worth it. Other than family, which you can't pick. My mother doesn't know I sought counseling because she's of a different breed, but my mother-in-law does and so does all my friends. They were very supportive and didn't think anything of it. It will do you good!

Happy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
In reply to: irishgrrrl78
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 8:38am
Thanx, Happy! I plan to e-mail the lady from the shelter again today and see if I can set up a one-on-one appointment. Maybe I'll eventually be ready to meet with a group, but I don't think I'm quite there yet. Hopefully soon, though! I'll let you guys know how it goes. Thanx again!

~Emm