Counseling & Guilt

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Counseling & Guilt
2
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 9:43pm

Does counseling really help with dealing with the guilt of leaving ? I am so unhappy with him but, b/c my family took his side I feel so guilty . Can counseling help me with this ?

Nicole

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 2:39am
As I posted before, my SIL got stuck with the "her-family-takes-his-side" thing too, and I know she went to counseling. I don't know how much it helped overall- she still lets him get away with way more than I would be able to myself- but I do think it did help her get up the courage to leave him. I think this is one of those things where a GOOD counselor, trained in DV, can make all the difference in the world; I'm not sure she had that. Just take your time and choose your counselor carefully.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 10:49am

I totally think counselling can be a very beneficial experience, however ITA that it needs to be not just a good counsellor but someone specifically trained in DV becasue counselling for DV is quite different than regualur counselling. For example, I had a wonderful counsellor in the year preceeding the end of my marriage and he helped me deal wiht issues of boundaries and anxiety and while he helped me recognize the abuse in my marriage he was unable to help me navigate the aftermath of leaving. I now see a counsellor specifically trained for DV and rather than dealing wiht the symptoms (i.e. guilt, anxiety) she helped me uncover and deal with the actual issues (self esteem, trust etc). It made a difference to my healing. I recommend you contact a DV shelter for info on counsellors in your area, they should be able to help but remember the choice is ultimately yours adn you need to be comfortable in who you choose.

Lisa