COUNSELING - How effective is it?
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| Thu, 08-10-2006 - 4:16pm |
Hi everyone,
My mother is in an extremely abusive relationship and has been for the past 27 years with my father. Heavy physical, emotional and xesual abuse. She doesn't admit the latter, but I know.
How effective is counseling, and would it help him stop his behavior?
He is constantly losing jobs, and he is 51 but strong but still who is going to hire a 51 year old with the idea in the back of their heads of having to grant him pension in only 11 more years? Everything he does is just a stress in my mother's life.
My brother is now 20 and he has started to verbally stand up for my mother and has even stood in between them when my father has attempted to physically hit her.
I don't know how much longer things will go on before my father starts to physically lash out at my brother (it's not like he has never hit him before...but it would be a different man to man type fight thing and my father has fought my brother once in the past as if he was fighting a stranger in the street).

Welcome, smoke.
cl-gonnabefine,
thanks so much for your prayers and post. They actually did try to call the cops on him about a few weeks ago before the incident I wrote about happened, but do you know what the SOB did? He ran around the house like a wimp and cut through all the phone lines. How stupid could he be? Aren’t there phones outside of the house. We live in a huge city helloooo. But this last incident that I posted about, when my brother kept defending my mom, he told my mom to take her ‘bastard child’ and to leave HIS home. So they left, and it was early nighttime mind you, and stayed out for about 4 hours my sister told me. During the fight however, when brother was standing up for mom, brother said to father, why don’t you just leave her alone and go find a job? This really stung deep for father I guess because he knows he’s a lowlife and has lost job after job – everywhere he goes I guess he wants to be the boss. He’s been used to all of us cowering beneath him all of our lives and his sense of reality is warped and he thinks everybody will behave that way with him. They won’t; there can only be one boss at work, and that is the boss, not father. So they left that night for 4 hours. The next morning it was Sunday and my sister said brother usually sleeps late, but that morning he had left the house by 10 am and father came storming into brother’s room, I mean storming, at 10:30 am and screamed ‘get up bum and go find a job!’. My sister was cracking up laughing when she told me this because she said she saw it happen and he looked like a maniac. Of course, after saying this he looked at brother’s bed and realized no one was there, so felt like a moron, but the reason he said this to brother is because brother had stung him deep the night before by telling HIM to go find and keep a job.
I just don’t know – I want to tell mom and brother both to remind him the next time he starts fighting that there ARE telephones outside of the house and the police CAN be reached. Maybe he would be scared of this and stop.