From The Courage To Change....
Find a Conversation
|Sat, 03-29-2003 - 6:32am|
I used to love the stillness of early morning, but after years of living with an alcoholic/abuser I stopped noticing it. Instead I woke up the same way I went to sleep - frantic. Before I was out of bed I already had a long list of crisis that needed my attention. So no matter how early I got up, I was already late. I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't get up at all.
My life has changed. I heard someone in Al-Anon say that when they open their eyes in the morning, they also open their ears. Now as I awaken, I listen to the birds. I choose not to review my plans for the day until I've had my breakfast. I prefer to take time to enjoy my favorite part of the day.
Al-Anon is helping me to clear my mind of my burdens so that I am able to enjoy the wonder of the moment. I am beginning to enjoy a childlike awe about the splendor of nature, to see all the beauty around me, to let my face break into a smile spontaneously, to laugh, to love, to live again. Today I can say, "Good morning, God" instead of "Good God, it's morning".
Today I'll be keenly aware of my senses. I will think about what I am experiencing at this moment. I won't let the beauty of this day slip by unnoticed.
"Real generosity to the future consists in giving all to what is present".
P.S. Even though, I'm not living with an abuser any longer, this is something that I still strive to get back. It's not easy, but I'm sure worth it.