Court Yesterday with Ex-Husband for Child Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2011
Court Yesterday with Ex-Husband for Child Support
5
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 2:31pm

With everything else going on lately, I had a court date yesterday with the ex-husband. The first time I've seen him in years! The attorney general's office was bringing the child support to court, in order to modify the order and (as I only found out yesterday) get an official start date of child support on paper, so they could finally do enforcement (like jail and suspend driver's lisence)! So, he got royally chewed out by the AG's attny and we didn't even up going in front of the judge bc he signed the agreement. His child support is going down, but he still owes $7k backpay and the payments are much more than I'm getting now. And, he was told that if he misses a payment by even a dollar - it's jail. I was so nervous, especially when they kicked all the spouses out of the courtroom. I felt so much better with dh there next to me, but he positioned himself right outside the door, so I could still see him if I looked over my shoulder.

I was so nervous and worried about the whole thing. But, it worked out great. The ex didn't even bring up visitation, and when I mentioned about the possiblity of signing over his rights, so my husband could adopt the kiddo, he didn't disagree. Also, when he left the court room, he was whining and crying and pissy about having to pay anything. My ex husband didn't even try to speak to me or make eye contact with me, except for a moment when he started getting mad about how much the arrears where. He tried to glare at my husband, but the second my dh gave him his "i know who you are, you scumbag" look, my ex tucked his tail and ran away.

On top of the outcome being great, it was strangely satisfying to see how completely different our lives turned out. He was there in oversized jeans, baggy clothes, brand new sneakers and an iphone, long goatee and totally dirty and creepy looking with his girlfriend who looked straight off Jerry Springer. And, there me and dh were - looking professional (him in a suit and me in my business-wear), very up-standing, suburban family-ish, if that makes any sense. And, the ex seriously aged badly. He used to be really attractive and fit, and now - he looks... gross, to say the least.

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001

Well, this is just FANTASTIC to hear, Chipper!

Mama Harmony

Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

I do not have a lot of faith in things but I do when it comes to krama =). My ex aged a lot while in jail.

I am also glad to hear things went well but sorry he wants to walk out but it may be the best thing just sucks when a parant wants to give them up. I lo hope all is going better with your DH


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
You are a wonderful example of the adage, "The best revenge is living well." Congratulations on besting the ex, and best of luck in achieving a swift termination of his rights.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2012

What a beautiful post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2011

Thanks everyone for the great encouraging words.

As for the current home situation, we're still working out the kinks. DH seemed to be doing so much better, but my MIL pulled a last minute emergency (and since she was watching the kids), we had to bring them back home a little earlier than expected. DH was really not feeling ready and has had a few small panic attacks with all the new noise around the house. But, overall, I think he's adjusting ok. He finally got some sleep (after not being able to sleep for several days) and has had no new passing out spells, flashbacks or anything else. We're still set to see his PTSD counselor on the 27th, but my MIL is still pushing really hard for him to go in-patient. We're taking it one day at a time and seeing how things are going. DH definitely felt empowered by the court situation with the ex.

Oh, and cajun - that's the plan tp bargain with arrears to get him to sign over his rights. I would be more than happy to forgive the entire amount, if he'll just go away forever.