Day 19
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 09-30-2005 - 10:30am |
Hi All:
Well it is day 19 since I decided to leave him and his awful words and games.
I have ignored his calls up until last weekend where I let him in for 5 minutes via the phone. It went as expected and the end result was, whatever, he will never change.
I have blocked his emails that he likes to send with their creepy words, or words of blame and cruelness. I did email him after that 5 minute cnversation, told him he is an angry, stubborn and mean person that I can't help anymore. Then blocked him for good. (I know, I know, I had to get mey last 2 cents in for me though).
I packed up his things last sunday and left them with his doorman. I was going to throw them away, but I konw he would use that as an excuse to get to me. So I just dropped it all off. I do not care about my things he has. If he wants to wear my underwar, let him have at it!!!
I am focusing on me now, feeling better, realizing this silence is not loneliness, it is just the anger hangover. I have so much more time on my hands now that I am not constantly fighting, looking for justification, or trying to not feel crazy.
I still have the nightmares of being yelled at, but they will go away over time. It amazes me that my sleep thoughts are so violent because of him and what I let him do to me. It is now the weekend, lonely time? NO. Made plans with girlfriends, going to go to church, going to do live chat on Sunday night.
This board has been such a blessing for me. To read that I am not alone, that I deserve kindness, to read what some of you have gone through and I am not reinventing the wheel.
Thanks to all of you.
SS

Awesome!
It's so good to hear you so full of ginger.