Dealing with PTSD

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Dealing with PTSD
9
Sun, 02-17-2013 - 5:58pm

Hi Everyone. I haven't been on this board before because I got out of my abusive relationship years ago. I didn't feel the need to address it bc I got out of it but recently there was a news story about the disabled Olympian who shot his girlfriend through the bathroom door. I was married and my husband chased me into the bathroom with his revolver. be had it pointed at me while I was crumbled in a ball on the floor. he didn't shoot me and told me it was my fault that that had happened. I never truly had any emotion about that event until now when I hear what happened to her. I know I emotionally have to deal with what happened and today is one of the first days I'm reaching out to anyone about it. I know I have to seek help to address it. I don't want to bring it back up but know its best fore and for my future. Not sure if anyone has any suggestions for any good books? I know should talk with someone but as a single mom I'm trying to find other ways to handle this situation. And reliving it is making me feel awful!! I feel like I've always been able to emotionally distance myself from it until Recently. Looking for some input/suggestions. Thank you

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 02-17-2013 - 8:32pm

~hugs~

It disturbed me to.

I know I have suffered with PTSD...:(...

I am out of the "Abusive" relationship to.

In fact I moved to another city so I could maintain NC (No Contact)...

It's actually Awesome being out and "Free"...

Coping/dealing myself right now with some things...:(...

******************************************************************************************************************************

***TRIGGERING***

Just want to let others know that it may be a Trigger for them...

My friend was recently murdered...:(...

It has been quite difficult but I am taking it one day at a time.

It's been a few months.

"Shock" and disbelief and some "Flash-backs of my own...

Sometimes it just hits you out of nowhere kwim?

I am safe but miss my friend.

Very much!

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Mon, 02-18-2013 - 2:18am

The only way I know to recover from PTSD is through therapy....You might look into someone who does EMDR or Neurofeedback that might work with you on a sliding scale due to the financial issues you face as a single parent...You might check with the local domestic abuse center to see if they have anyone who works with DV victims that might be able to help you....

These triggers will continue to cripple you until you finally deal with the trauma...what happens during the fight or flight stage of a situation is part of the memory is stored in part of the brain and another part of the memory is store in a different part of the brain and they are not connected...so when a situation occurrs it triggers because you are unable to identify that memory with "past" rather than present and so you immediately react to the memory as if it is happening NOW...Once you can tie the two memories back together you will be able to identify this is a past memory and you wont need to engage the fight or flight mode and will be able to work past the trigger rather than react to the trigger.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Mon, 02-18-2013 - 10:11am

Here are some Links that you might find helpful...:)
I know they helped me...still are...;)...Getting Free helped me find the Courage to be Free and ultimately stay Free from my "Abuser"...
I even moved lock stock and barrel to another city from one I had lived in for over forty years...
http://www.lundybancroft.com/
http://whenlovehurts.ca
http://www.ginnynicarthy.org/about.html
/http://www.abusedwomen.org/

Nightangel
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Mon, 02-18-2013 - 10:15am

Awesome Post!

Frustratedwith3, you are Simply Amazing!

You helped so much when I was trying to figure things out with my ex...thank-you...:)...

Nightangel
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Mon, 02-18-2013 - 10:21am

"These triggers will continue to cripple you until you finally deal with the trauma...what happens during the fight or flight stage of a situation is part of the memory is stored in part of the brain and another part of the memory is store in a different part of the brain and they are not connected...so when a situation occurrs it triggers because you are unable to identify that memory with "past" rather than present and so you immediately react to the memory as if it is happening NOW...Once you can tie the two memories back together you will be able to identify this is a past memory and you wont need to engage the fight or flight mode and will be able to work past the trigger rather than react to the trigger."

Frustrated this is so enlightening and brings hope to those with PTSD.
It is crippling, you feel paralyzed...I was living with it and didn't even "know" it...

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 7:21pm
Thank you so much for the awesome feedback! I looked into a domestic violence/PTSD therapist today to find local support. It's going to be hard for me bc I hate to put myself into such a vulnerable situation to relay the stories and relive the truth of what happened to me while having to stay strong as a single mom, working and doing what I need to for my child. I trust in the long run its the right move to make. Thank you and I will begin taking my steps forward as I need to not get stuck in this rut for both me and my child. Thank you all! ((Hugs))
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 7:24pm
Wow. You explain that really well and it helps me to understand what is going on bc I get so angry w situations that don't involve me but remind me of what I've been through and the person I was with
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 3:58pm

~hugs~

I am so glad...:)

Nightangel
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 4:00pm

It's like being transported back in to that place and time...:(...

Nightangel