Depressed

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Depressed
4
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 11:43am
Did you ever just feel so defeated that you didn't care anymore? I know that my spirit is crushed.....that's exactly what I feel like. I was hospitalized once for severe depression 17 years ago and yesterday I felt dangerously close to what I felt that time, it scared me more than anything else. I don't ever want to be that way again. I already take meds for depression, but I felt like I was slipping into a black hole or something. I feel better today, but I'm still scared. All I kept thinking is that it isn't fair for me to have to feel this way again, and I'm not going to be like that EVER again no matter what it takes. I know I gotta get out or I will go back to that dark place again. Whoever thinks that mental and verbal abuse can't hurt you is WRONG. Even if he is doing "better" I can see him slipping back to his old ways again, so there goes the hope that he is going to change. And why should I worry about his feelings and whether or not he is happy or not, when I'm dying inside?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
In reply to: morgantlsmom
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 11:58am

Yes hun, I agree.

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
In reply to: morgantlsmom
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 4:22pm

I just wanted to send you the biggest, safest hug. I know exactly what you are feeling and I KNOW that I am going to make it through this. You will too. Just stick with me, okay? Once we get to the other side of this crap, we are going to be completely awesome!!

Tarrin

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: morgantlsmom
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 4:34pm

What this signals to me, hon, is that you are right at the edge in your situation.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
In reply to: morgantlsmom
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 8:58am
About 9 months ago I was where you are now. Once you have that 'epiphany' you just know that it's time to put a stop to all of this. Gather your army, get all your support in order, get a counselor just for YOU (this is IMPERATIVE). You'll be amazed at how things just start falling into place, and you'll be amazed at how much support will be crawling out of the woodwork for you. Importantly, know that the advice of these women on these boards will be one of the biggest supports you have. Hang in there, you WILL be fine...there will be some tough days but there is light at the end of tunnel!
hugs to you
A