Desperately Need Advice...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Desperately Need Advice...
3
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 1:38pm

My mother says she wants to leave her abusive husband, has been saying it for a year or so now, but she keeps finding reasons to stay. This morning it was, "he says he'll quit drinking," which she thinks is his problem. They're raising his daughter's children (victims of physical, verbal and sexual abuse by their mom,) and she's afraid to leave the children with him, but doesn't want to take them herself. I told her to leave, and she said she has no where to go. I live on the other side of the country, and she doesn't have anyone there she can trust. She told my brother that she was being abused, but he just claims she provokes her husband and deserves it. I tried to convince her to go to a woman's shelter, but she refuses to lose her belongings again (she lost everything when she divorced my dad.) Also, he keeps track of all the phone calls she makes and everything she types on the computer, so she's afraid to get help that way. She has no insurance, so she won't go to a doctor to document her injuries. Is there anything else I can say or do to help her from so far away? I'm afraid I'm the only one who knows what's going on who cares.

Thank you all,

Crys

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 2:13pm
The best thing you can do to help a friend or family member in an abuisve relationship is to simply be there for them and to listen.
5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 6:02pm

Additionally, if she wants to get information online, she can use public computers, such as at the library or internet cafes.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 8:59pm
Just wanted to add if she is uninsured she could prolly get free care thru a hospital. He needn't know. Not only would she have the medical care and documentation, but hospitals often have DV advocates.