Do I have reason to be terrified?
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| Mon, 01-24-2005 - 11:40pm |
I left in November before he returned to the country, and begged him on the phone to not come back. He came back anyway and made it clear he was preparing for a long fight. Over what? I don't know. He has his private account which I have made no claim on. He doesn't want custody of my son. He was offered visitation but he said he didn't have time and postponed it until after the restraining order court session. This court is being held on Thursday for him to challenge the restraining order. Everything was relatively quiet last week, but starting yesterday he has been on the move it seems. He has been calling the personnel people at my work demanding for benefits. He wants 'his' separation allowance in cash and for them to ship his things back to his new home. He harrassed the health insurance people and insisted on them giving him a written statement as to if he was still covered or not and wanted this before court. The personnel people told him there is no separation allowance for him, only for the employee, and that I can not keep him on my health insurance because he is not my dependant and not living with me.
Next, and most disturbing, is that he began calling my house demanding to talk to my son. My mother, who stays with me, refused and hung up. He called again and told her she had to let him speak to my son by order of the judge. She hung up again and called me crying and very upset. He tried calling at least half a dozen times now but we will not answer the phone to him. I called the lawyer who said he has clearly broken the restraining order by doing so and was surprised he claimed the judge himself ordered us to let him speak with my son. The judge did not. But my mother seems to think he is beginning to break and that he will be coming to the house next. Knowing this guy, if he breaks, he will have lost all control and could potentially be dangerous. In the past he has heaved all kinds of threats about how he wants to kill this person, kill himself, kill me, beat the &^% out of somebody for pleasure..... He has only once lost complete control, hitting me breaking my rib and a table in the process, but it makes me think he has the potential to do serious harm. That moment I remember he looked like a demon and had more hate in his eyes than I have ever seen before in a person. I am afraid of taking my son to kindergarten now, despite the restraining order covering that. Are things becoming more serious, or is he just simply harrassing?

YES!
Call the cops immediately!
CL-Blueliner4
I agree wholeheartedly with blueliner4! Call the police and keep a list of dates and times that he has called your work or your home. It is making him look bad and if you or your mother is afraid then demand the police do something now! It worked for me and he doesn't bother me at all anymore. There is no longer an RO but our child exchanges take place at the police station and I wait there until he is gone. We don't speak to each other at all...thankfully!!!
Take care!
I got him to stop the phone calls finally. In court he argued with the judge about his 'legal right' to call his child. Or rather he 'told' the judge in an irritated manner that he has that right. His lawyer backed him up and even admitted to telling him he had the legal right. The judge got mad at both of them and said 'no way' telling them to cut out the phone calls or else.
Now a new threat is looming over the horizon. During the court session, my lawyer informed him he had a barring order on him at my work. The buildings at my work are closed to public and controled by security. He worked there as well up through November when his contract ended. His former employer suggested she may bring him back for three weeks in April though. You can imagine my fears of having him there in the same building as me. The restraining order only works if he is not employed there. But at any rate, I took it to the security only to inform them so that he didn't have access until then (at least) and if he did come back, that they would be aware of a potentially explosive situation. They took this quite seriously based on some other reported incidents not involving me and said they could not allow a potentially dangerous person on the grounds. They barred him.
I was told by a little bird that he called the very next morning and 'told' them to immediately remove the barring order because he was going to be employed there. Not so. The job is not being offered to him. In fact, he has made enough of a bad impression with his arrogant attitude that they don't want him working there ever apparently. It is entirely their decision but when he finds this out, he will blame me. What makes it so tense is that I realized (I live outside the US) that all his talk about staying for 5 years had to possibly do with his intending to get a job. He even agreed to another court date outside the presumed tourist visa he is on. He is going to blow up over this one. I know this is all probably best, but I am terrified. When he is angry, he finds somebody to take it out on. I am still the prime candidate for that.