Do you ever.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Do you ever.........
4
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 12:54pm
just want to curl up in a ball and just shut down completly? It's scary how easy that seems it would be to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 8:03am

Yes! I felt suicidal, too stupid & miserable to live. That's what living with an abuser will do to you! It's an awful feeling, but it doesn't have to stay that way. If you can't move out or kick him out, then at least give yourself a vacation. Is there a place you can go? Do you have any family or friends you can stay with for a while, even if it's just overnight?

He has your mind so messed up you can't think straight. Getting some distance between you two will give you a chance to heal and come back to yourself.

I came back from that dark place, and I made something of my life. You can do it, too, but you have to understand that he's not going to change. I'll bet if you get away from him for a while, you'll begin to feel much, much better, and you'll rediscover yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 2:21pm
Sounds like we are in the same boat.. I have felt that way for a week today... but I have made myself as of wednesday this week.. get out of bed.. shower.. and do something!! I have been working but my mind isnt there and they can tell.. so.. I was talked to about it yesterday.. Try to get up and do something.. call a friend.. I dont have any left but I have the board here and I have a support group I attend.. Go to walmart and walk around.. just get out!.. you are in my prayers
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2005
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 11:21am

I can totally relate to what you are going through! Lately I've been wishing I could just go to sleep and wake up like 5 years from now. Maybe things will be semi-normal by then. Especially with the holidays coming up, it's going to be very hard to be with family and too depressing to be by myself.

I feel like I'm in a total nightmare! I separated from my husband in August because of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. My sister, who is married to my husband's brother, is also suffering the same types of abuse from her husband. Last Monday night, she called 911 and had him arrested for beating her up. He spent the night in jail and the state has brought charges for domestic assault. My other sister is trying to decide what to do about her marriage, because she recently found out her husband has been cheating on her for years. It seems like there's no haven or escape from this miserable situation for all of us. I feel like packing my sisters, nieces, and nephews in an RV or something and just going on a road trip without these TOTAL BUMS that we married.

I guess I'm not making anyone feel any better, I'm just venting. One of my sisters is going to counseling, I'm going to counseling and a support group, and we're trying to get my other sister into counseling, so we are coping OK. This was just a bad weekend, I guess. Today is one of those days like smilinmore described: I will just have to make myself get out and do something. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 12:58pm

I know exactly how you feel- between bouts of fear and tears I just wish that I could make the entire world go away. I could curl up in a ball and hide like that forever. My two favorite fantasies are waking up 6 months from now and getting to look back at how well my situation resolved itself and move on with my life without facing everything that overwhelms me so much. My second fantasy is that someone stronger than me takes possession of my mind and body and gets me through the worst - that I get to hide in a corner of my mind until things have calmed down enough for me to comeback out again.

I understand how you feel. I don't know how helpful I am but I am here and I do know how much it hurts and I wish I could take some of it away from you. I know that we all deserve so much more than this from our lives.

Demeter